Published on 12, July, 2020
You may feel the same way about animals as I do - I care deeply about animals and insects.
I didn't know that nextdoor was dog sitting, I just heard a dog barking and whining in distress. I went next do to see if there was a dog there, and yes there was.
My nextdoor neighbour had seen me on his doorbell camera, and he called me to ask if everything was OK - I said yes, and I was just concerned about the dog. He appeared OK with this, and said that he'd come home to check on the dog.
He came home and rang my doorbell. I answered the door only for my nextdoor neighbour to start screaming in.my face calling me a liar and a bull sh*ter, and why was I going to call the police and RSPCA when the dog is fine? I didn't even say anything about calling the police or RSPCA, I just heard the dog and wanted to know if it was OK. He then continued screaming at me for being in his garden - it's private property, and looking at his house. He then went, but started sending me nasty text messages.
It's been a few days since the incident, but I feel absolutely heartbroken, and I keep crying. I can't avoid him, as we live in terraced houses - I can even hear him walking up and down the stairs. He's scared me, I'm so upset and frightened. What can I do?
I can relate to the thrill of turning something rundown into something functional and fun.
You don't indicate which of these accusations are true. that will make a difference in how to proceed.
For the infractions that you did commit just apologize, even if you don't mean it. Show contrition.
For the ones you did not do, calmly and simply say so and don't elaborate.
You can do this in writing - not a text - a hand written note, signed if you can't face to face safely.
And BTW: how do they have your number and why have you still not blocked them?
What is your shared back story that they would have your number?
I feel like there's a lot of defining detail left out.
It may be that another person called the RSPCA and, since you expressed concern already, they assumed it was you.
Thank you Rosie.
Thank you Swiftie14,
It's so hard when your home is your safer space, and it gets invaded by a toxic person.
Music is a huge part of my life, and my saviour. I will check out the calm app.
Take care Swiftie14.
Dear Behind The Mask,
I've joined this Society due to neighbor issues and that's why your tittle got my attention.
I send you a hug, since it was so violent the reaction of this "human". I can feel that sadness and that you cannot stop crying and i'd be scared to. At the same time, i would feel sad since it is unfair to change our life or feel guilty as a consequence of someone reaction.
Nowadays, i'm finding some peace wearing headphones, listening to for example Calm (meditation app) or piano music of my favorite artist. And go out of your house using them.
Hope you feel better
We are sorry that you have had this experience with your neighbour.
You may want to report this to the police. Our guidance offers information on how to make the Criminal Justice System experience better for autistic people and more information about what happens if you are a victim or witness of a crime: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/criminal-justice/criminal-justice/autistic-adults
Kind Regards,
Rosie Mod
Thank you, I really appreciate your answer.
Yes, we have a camera doorbell too - it's all on there.
It's not the first he has come around screaming.
I am going to take your advice and contact the police. He knows that I am Autistic, and my husband is disabled. I feel as though he thinks that we're an easy target
Amerantin (former member) said: I would log that with your local police station. They made offer to send a community policeman to speak to them. If the dog continues to be in distress, I'd report that too.
I'm in agreement with Amerantin - attack is the best form of defence here. By that I mean using all reasonable means to establish that you are being threatened and by them knowing you will go to the police it will make them think twice about doing it again.
If you can afford it, get yourself a doorbell camera to catch any interaction in the future and any further intimidation should allow you to get a restraining order on them and put them at risk of prosecution if they persist.
It probably feels really scary but with this in place you have as much security as practical at this point plus you can see if it is them at the door and ignore them.
If there is a risk of running into them outside the front door then keep your phone recording until you are in the street just in case - delete the video if there is nothing on it later.
We shouldn't have to live with fear but we cannot control others so it does sometimes affect us. Standing up to it is sometimes the only way to conquer it.
I live in a semi-detached house and have a really horrible neighbour through the wall who behaves very anti-socially and has been at my front door screaming at me a couple of times.
The really unpleasant behaviour was only resolved by two things that happened more or less at the same time: he came to my door and I had a fairly nuclear meltdown that sent him scurrying away. During that I made it very clear that if he came back to my door or onto my property I would phone the police and report a breach of the peace and trespass.
I also logged a complaint with the police and showed them the evidence from my Ring doorbell.
So, this person has been verbally aggressive to you on your own doorstep and sent harassing messages to you. I would log that with your local police station. They made offer to send a community policeman to speak to them. If the dog continues to be in distress, I'd report that too.