Published on 12, July, 2020
I dated an autistic guy in February this year since then we have been talking, i really like him, I've told him how i feel, and I want a relationship, but he is struggling after losing his job 3 months ago and wont commit to seeing me again. He's recently opened up to me and said he struggles to fit in, he has nothing to bring to a relationship, his life is complicated and he is struggling. He has no friends, and no girlfriend for 10 years, I am doubtful if he's ever had a girlfriend and i am not sure if this is another reason he wont date me again as he has no confidence in himself. I keep getting frustrated with the situation, it's affecting him and he gets down. he's told me he likes me but cannot tell me how he feels when i ask him. He can easily walk away with no emotions, and i get upset. Clearly he's not interested in a relationship but enjoys my company i feel maybe i am comforting him as he also said he's lonely. He longs for something meaningful but cannot see the bigger picture. We met on a dating site so I am hoping he's just going through a hard time. I keep telling myself to be patient and he will change and want to see me. I would like some advice what to do with the situation as I am not autistic.
Hi there,
I am autistic and sometimes (almost everytime) it is very hard to try to match my emotions and sayings with a person that is neurotypical. What i can say, is that when I've got my diagnosis, I was knowing someone and he really helps me out.
By all that you wrote, seems like he is tired of not being part of anything, tired of trying to fit it, tired of trying. I feel like that almost everyday. And most important, i'm tired of people who dont try to understand that we process the information in a different way. That may conclude in some discussion, but at the end all goes well if the other one understand our thinking.
What it helps me out every day, is that my bf is like always searching for information for Asperger and shares it with me, like podcasts. Maybe you can search some info and try to share it with him and show that you are there for him not matter what.
xoxo,
Swiftie14
Hello, thanks for your comments, he is 40 and has nothing, the only thing he understands is motorbikes. I've tried to explain the bigger picture i think its been too much and out of his reach when hes feeling like this.
That's a good idea, i thought about doing this but then thought maybe i would offend him, its good to hear it helps you. xx
there is an author that it really help me at the beggining, it is Rudy Simone. Maybe you can look for some info there :)
thank you i will take a look