Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
My child has always really struggled if we stay in a hotel. He is 14 years old now and we stayed in a family room recently for the first time in 10 years. I had forgotten!! The moment we stepped into the hotel room, he became highly anxious.
He is not normally anxious. He is thriving in most areas of life, so it is remarkable to me he experienced this instant high stress at walking into a hotel room.
I wonder what it is that immediately sets him off?
I'm thinking it might be the fact that there is nowhere to hide from the family when we are all sharing a room (mum dad and brother).
Do others have similar experience or are there any other ideas of what it could be that sparks such immediate and unusually intense anxiety in him?
The reason we haven't stayed in hotel rooms for 10 years is because he used to literally not sleep at all and I'd be driving all night or walking him around in a pushchair. It had been so long, I'd forgotten!
I'll throw a few ideas in the ring for this - let me know if any hit the mark:
Could there be a trauma from staying in the hotel that is making him this way?
If he doesn't like the fact he can't get privacy, could you make a "fort" for him to be safe in when he feels the worst?
How about eyemask and earplugs to help him sleep. All those people breathing and moving can be very distracting so this may help.
Some medication could also help - antihistimine is a cheap and safe way to make him drowsy in the evening and should last most of the night.
Maybe talk to him about what he doesn't like about it or ask him how you could make it better. Having a sliver of control may help him relax.
Thank you.
If he has a trauma, he doesn't consciously remember it as he was too young to remember the last time. Nut maybe he unconsciously remembers it as his anxiety was instant, as soon as he walked in the room. It might be traumatic, the fact that every other time we stayed in a Hotel room all together, he couldn't sleep at all which made us absolutely stressed and exhausted.
It might be interesting to chat to him about it now that we've returned.
I think some kind of fort might be a good idea.
I think it also didn't match his expectations. We normally choose an apartment or cottage or caravan or tent with separate compartments (and outside space). I think he was dismayed by a small budget room with all those beds in there.