Published on 12, July, 2020
My daughter is struggling with the thought of leaving school.
she has just broke up for half term and won’t entertain the conversation of college or what is going to happen when she leaves.
i have applied for colleges for her and arranged taster days but every time I try to talk to her about what she wants to do she shuts down and it’s devestating me as I’m so worried about the future.
i have been off work since January to care for her and don’t see a way back to work.
she was predicted 6 & 7 in. Her gcse but likely to leave with nothing
can anyone advise me or give me some hope please I’m really struggling
thank you
Is there a subject that she's passionate about? I have AuDH so I will frequently obsess about a particular topic/subject. Even though I hated school and the school that I went to pretty much never helped me and ignored my diagnoses (the SEND department was awful towards me), I knew that school was just as means to an end and that I would be able to study the subject that I really wanted to do in Uni. If she is in Year 11 she still has lots of time to decide if your wants to continue on in further education or go down al alternative route (I ended up changing what I wanted to do in Uni three times from Year 12 to Year 13). Schools can not have great SEND departments (to say the least!) but there is much more help elsewhere. In the university that I'll be starting in in September there is lots of DSA help (such as counselling and funding) and also a weekly group for students with Autism. I wish your daughter much success and hope that everything goes well for her .
Hi thank you for your reply
she is really close with the head of the SEND department she has been a life saver literally!!!
I have arranged various open days and we are due to go on another couple next month which I’m hoping helps
we have 12 sessions of counselling booked for her I’m just worried that she is too attached and won’t let go!!
ahe is loved by all the teachers she’s not overly fussed about the other students really
im hoping the next place she goes she can build the same rapport with the teachers there but she will the. Have to go through this again
It’s hard, I remember I had meltdowns and huge anxiety when leaving or changing school. For me helpful was visiting the new place in advance, even more than one time, to see it, to get somehow little bit used to it, the atmosphere in there, people, place, location. This way it was a bit easier for me. Same with changing jobs. I also cried i couldn’t even say why, as I was t so much attached to the people there, but I was attached to the place, the routine, the sounds that I heard there everyday and were familiar. Maybe that would also help your daughter if possible to take her there. Have you consulted with a therapist? when talking to her, maybe it would be helpful to also talk about the things that will remain same and emphasise that you are here and will support her. If not tried yet, maybe this way you can convince her to make her feel safer about the change.