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Relationship with an autistic guy

NAS93820
1 month ago

Hi

I’m in a relationship with an autistic male and recently I’ve had difficulties understanding his behavior. Unfortunately we don’t live in the same place so we cannot see each other often but we chat. However up until 4 days ago he’s been very present and nice. Now he’s ignoring me. He sends me his good morning and then nothing else. He doesn’t even read my messages. I’ve asked him if he still likes me and he has always said yes. I really like him and I told him. I have asked if I had done something wrong and his answer was I need to sleep.

I’m very stressed and said about this. I’m trying to give him space but I need to know if I’m the problem. I’d like to let him know I’m still here for him, but I don’t know how to convey that.

I’ve reading a lot about autism so I can try to understand his mind a little bit.

I know that there’s a chance his not fine at the moment but I also know that he was interacting in other social media and again not sure what to make of it.

I’m really desperate for help now.

Thanks and sorry for the venting moment but I feel very alone on this right now

Parents
  • 1 month ago

    I'm on the other side of that scenario.

    I've been with my wife for 26 years. The key to having a strong relationship in my opinion has been communication. Being open about our feelings and open to understanding our differences and embracing them. Don't get me wrong we still argue, quite a lot of those are my fault as I can massively over react and sometimes appear to be upset about something that I'm not, for example, a change in plans can trigger me, but it might seem like it's the plan, or the person , not the change I'm angry at. When that happens its upto me to take responsibility. Equally not all arguments are my fault so that has to be shared.

    All relationships need strong  communication and understanding because all people are different, it's just a slightly different set of needs when there's someone autistic in the relationship, it's still a 2 way street, you both think and process things slightly different so will both need to adjust slightly to fit together, which is what makes all relationships work. 

    Talk about it, tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels, some of his reactions might seem odd, but to him some of yours do too. 

    Good luck , hope it all works out :)

Reply
  • 1 month ago

    I'm on the other side of that scenario.

    I've been with my wife for 26 years. The key to having a strong relationship in my opinion has been communication. Being open about our feelings and open to understanding our differences and embracing them. Don't get me wrong we still argue, quite a lot of those are my fault as I can massively over react and sometimes appear to be upset about something that I'm not, for example, a change in plans can trigger me, but it might seem like it's the plan, or the person , not the change I'm angry at. When that happens its upto me to take responsibility. Equally not all arguments are my fault so that has to be shared.

    All relationships need strong  communication and understanding because all people are different, it's just a slightly different set of needs when there's someone autistic in the relationship, it's still a 2 way street, you both think and process things slightly different so will both need to adjust slightly to fit together, which is what makes all relationships work. 

    Talk about it, tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels, some of his reactions might seem odd, but to him some of yours do too. 

    Good luck , hope it all works out :)

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