Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I’m in a relationship with an autistic male and recently I’ve had difficulties understanding his behavior. Unfortunately we don’t live in the same place so we cannot see each other often but we chat. However up until 4 days ago he’s been very present and nice. Now he’s ignoring me. He sends me his good morning and then nothing else. He doesn’t even read my messages. I’ve asked him if he still likes me and he has always said yes. I really like him and I told him. I have asked if I had done something wrong and his answer was I need to sleep.I’m very stressed and said about this. I’m trying to give him space but I need to know if I’m the problem. I’d like to let him know I’m still here for him, but I don’t know how to convey that. I’ve reading a lot about autism so I can try to understand his mind a little bit.I know that there’s a chance his not fine at the moment but I also know that he was interacting in other social media and again not sure what to make of it.I’m really desperate for help now.Thanks and sorry for the venting moment but I feel very alone on this right now.ThanksLuisa
Hmm, are these "good morning" texts the type of thing, where you expect him to text you every single day out of 365 days, just to make small talk? I mean, for the female it's nice to receive good morning texts, but for the male, it's like having to wake up every day already having to already do something, and it becomes like a chore. Sometimes people want to wake up with the freedom to not have chores or any plans yet. Also, small talk is good to get to know each other, but it might get boring if the same things are always asked. I don't know if that's what's actually happening in your relationship, but that's just what I thought about. He might just be drained by the social interaction. Some people get easily drained and needs personal space to recharge. Perhaps he's trying to recharge by going on social media.
I totally understand his need for loneliness, he may have a shutdown or burn out. But if he is able to communicate, I think he should tell you honestly that he is unable meet these days but it’s not your fault, to let you know that he loves you but he needs a time and space. I have issues with it and as I often overcompensate I also suffer from lack of solitude and feel exhausted while my husband has issues to understand that I’m different. Clear and honest communication is the key. Unfortunately it’s not always that easy, especially many of us have alexythemia, so we ourselves have problems to recognize and properly name our own emotions.
Hi there
Sorry to hear this but there might be a reasonable explanation. Maybe the other social platforms he is on are talking to other ND individuals and him perhaps taking advice or just getting some reassurance? I would just let him know you’re there whenever he’s ready and try not to be too disgruntled about it. Maybe he’s a little overwhelmed with something atm and just needs to regulate. Try not to take it personally and I’m sure he just needs some alone time as we all need this from time to time. From personal experience I don’t stay in touch with friends as much as I should but I still think and feel the same about them. For me knowing they are there doesn’t always need to be maintained.
Try and be patient and I’m sure he will be back on the same page
I would love to be given the opportunity to love a woman. I am 23 and never once has a female shown interest in me. I would give her the world honestly I could show her things she never seen before lol. I have so much to give but nobody has came to claim it yet. When she will come I don’t know.
Perhaps his interaction in other social media has caused him to be upset. When we get overloaded we can feel exhausted. Try not to take it personally.
You want him to know you are there for him, so if you haven't already done so, just tell him that. If you send a message and he doesn't read it, there is nothing you can do unfortunately. If the relationship is meant to be, he will get back to you when he's feeling stronger.
I hope it works out for you.