Published on 12, July, 2020
Monday I had an argument with the online ASD community I attend. As an older Aspie, I can say that ASD has completely ruined my life. I cannot count the many opportunities that I missed due to ASD.
That ASD community insists that ASD is a wonderful superpower, and if anyone has a problem is because society is not accepting it. They even disagreed with the acronym ASD since "autism is not a disorder", and insisted that ASD should not be treated since it's not an illness or a disability.
It's just me, or this point of view is becoming more and more common? Why so many people are starting to subscribe to that "social model" of ASD?
There's always going to be wildly different viewpoints on the matter, which is why I tend to steer clear of the debates. It was far too frustrating to keep up with.
"Don't call autism a disorder... don't call it a disability... don't call it a condition". I would say autism has massively impacted my life and not in a good way, especially over the last year where I messed up to such a massive extent that a non-autistic person would not have done.
HMO said:I would say autism has massively impacted my life and not in a good way, especially over the last year where I messed up to such a massive extent that a non-autistic person would not have done.
I know neurotypicals who have messed up massively, sometimes in a serial way that makes you realise they are either just rubbish at life or are tring to self sabotage.
The point is - autism isn't the root cause of all your problems. It is an explanation why you experience things in a certain way and it is down to you to learn to adapt and find the right balance in life that is sustainable and still allows you to be human and mess up from time to time.
Owning out mistakes and learning from them is a part of the human condition. We have all messed up royally from time to time (myself included - sometimes I wonder what the heck I was thinking - but it wasn't down to just autism. It was me being stupid, being an a-hole or any number of things that affect all humans.
Accepting this and learning to do better is what defines us as a good person and accepting that to err is human. To really, really mess up requires a politician.
I would say it's extremely unlikely that a neurotypical person would have found themselves in my exact situation.
Autism is context, not an excuse, but it does play a big part.
I have a high IQ, have over achieved in my career, have read every self help book going, have studied how people interact with each other and throughout my life people have told me I'm "nice" and "likeable".
I have tried, for decades, but I simply cannot make friends or have relationships. It is as if other people literally have a sense, telepathy or something, that I don't possess.
So being told, in effect, that there's nothing wrong with me and I'm not trying hard enough, does not sit well with me.