I feel like not fully grown up/mature

Alien0n3arth said:

many other sounds that usually don’t make me feel disregulated today made me crazy and crying

Yes, this is me when I am tired or stressed or more depressed than usual. Every little thing seems to niggle at first and then it all builds and suddenly I am crying.

I once had a lovely morning with a friend in London but I had to catch the train back to Scotland after we had lunch. Unfortunately the tube to get to the station was inexplicably delayed and I was sitting there getting more and more agitated. It eventually got to the stop near the station with about five minutes before my train left, and I had a big case to drag, and I was running to make sure I didn't miss it, and I got onto the concourse just to see my train marked on the board as having left.

I managed to find the information desk and explain the situation to the chap there, he was very patient and eventually got me even in my agitated state to understand that as I had booked a ticket, I could still get the next train, I'd just have to wait an hour.

After that, I was so overwhelmed with everything that had happened that even though I knew that everything was going to be alright, I had to find a quieter spot to sit by the wall (it was very busy and no seats available) and I was just sobbing my heart out. People were stopping and asking me if I was ok, and I had to tell them everything was fine, I had just missed my train.

I had no idea I was autistic at that point, I just thought I was overly sensitive and couldn't cope.

Travel is one of the worst things for me. Where we are subject to delays and cancellations out of our control. I've spent ridiculous amounts of money on an Uber in one situation. Nothing gives me the fear as much as the phrase "replacement bus service". I wish our transport system was as reliable as Japan. I've avoided big swathes of nice things due to fear of transport. I can't do it without my wife. Though I am like the alcoholic hiding the bottle in that I am not totally open about how much I fear it.

Many people believe that people with autism should not be allowed to live alone without a live-in carer nor be allowed to travel without a chaperone - after the experience I had with a train strike in October 2022, travelling from the U.K. to Ireland unaccompanied is no longer an option for me, as it attracted massive disapproval from family since my diagnosis, who are still battling to have me stopped from living alone and want me more closely watched and monitored - besides, travel since Covid has become much more unpredictable with last minute delays and cancellations, making it virtually impossible to plan, plus the costs of travel have doubled across all forms of transport, especially long distance 

Many people believe that people with autism should not be allowed to live alone without a live-in carer nor be allowed to travel without a chaperone - after the experience I had with a train strike in October 2022, travelling from the U.K. to Ireland unaccompanied is no longer an option for me, as it attracted massive disapproval from family since my diagnosis, who are still battling to have me stopped from living alone and want me more closely watched and monitored - besides, travel since Covid has become much more unpredictable with last minute delays and cancellations, making it virtually impossible to plan, plus the costs of travel have doubled across all forms of transport, especially long distance