I feel like not fully grown up/mature

Alien0n3arth said:

many other sounds that usually don’t make me feel disregulated today made me crazy and crying

Yes, this is me when I am tired or stressed or more depressed than usual. Every little thing seems to niggle at first and then it all builds and suddenly I am crying.

I once had a lovely morning with a friend in London but I had to catch the train back to Scotland after we had lunch. Unfortunately the tube to get to the station was inexplicably delayed and I was sitting there getting more and more agitated. It eventually got to the stop near the station with about five minutes before my train left, and I had a big case to drag, and I was running to make sure I didn't miss it, and I got onto the concourse just to see my train marked on the board as having left.

I managed to find the information desk and explain the situation to the chap there, he was very patient and eventually got me even in my agitated state to understand that as I had booked a ticket, I could still get the next train, I'd just have to wait an hour.

After that, I was so overwhelmed with everything that had happened that even though I knew that everything was going to be alright, I had to find a quieter spot to sit by the wall (it was very busy and no seats available) and I was just sobbing my heart out. People were stopping and asking me if I was ok, and I had to tell them everything was fine, I had just missed my train.

I had no idea I was autistic at that point, I just thought I was overly sensitive and couldn't cope.

Alien0n3arth said:

many other sounds that usually don’t make me feel disregulated today made me crazy and crying

Yes, this is me when I am tired or stressed or more depressed than usual. Every little thing seems to niggle at first and then it all builds and suddenly I am crying.

I once had a lovely morning with a friend in London but I had to catch the train back to Scotland after we had lunch. Unfortunately the tube to get to the station was inexplicably delayed and I was sitting there getting more and more agitated. It eventually got to the stop near the station with about five minutes before my train left, and I had a big case to drag, and I was running to make sure I didn't miss it, and I got onto the concourse just to see my train marked on the board as having left.

I managed to find the information desk and explain the situation to the chap there, he was very patient and eventually got me even in my agitated state to understand that as I had booked a ticket, I could still get the next train, I'd just have to wait an hour.

After that, I was so overwhelmed with everything that had happened that even though I knew that everything was going to be alright, I had to find a quieter spot to sit by the wall (it was very busy and no seats available) and I was just sobbing my heart out. People were stopping and asking me if I was ok, and I had to tell them everything was fine, I had just missed my train.

I had no idea I was autistic at that point, I just thought I was overly sensitive and couldn't cope.

Travel is one of the worst things for me. Where we are subject to delays and cancellations out of our control. I've spent ridiculous amounts of money on an Uber in one situation. Nothing gives me the fear as much as the phrase "replacement bus service". I wish our transport system was as reliable as Japan. I've avoided big swathes of nice things due to fear of transport. I can't do it without my wife. Though I am like the alcoholic hiding the bottle in that I am not totally open about how much I fear it.

I literally feel your situation. I was in similar. Once I got lost on a train station in Berlin, when working there few years ago. I suddenly felt so terribly overwhelmed there was huge crowd of people I lost my ability to think clearly and started crying like a little girl. Someone stopped, one young woman took my hand and walked me out and helped to css as lm down I told her to which platform I need to go and she showed me the way. It was really lovely of her. I had no idea that I might be autistic at that time. Once I also had a situation when sitting in a waiting room to a doctor (dermatologist). I was terribly stressed by the constant noise of squeaking and slamming doors. I wanted to cover my ears but I knew I have to listen carefully when they call my name. It was 2 hours. I was so stressed that I rocked back and forth and bang my gusts on my forehead (it’s calming). Others moved away from me. Someone even asked the nurse to “remove that crazy woman” because they are afraid. Then the dermatologist also informed me that I’m me tally ill and need a psychiatrist. I went to seek the psychiatrist in that big clinic but the lady in the receptionist didn’t take me seriously and I just went home confused and stressed.