Do you struggle to comfort people?

I think over text its very difficult to offer support beyond a certain extent in the immediate moment. Whereas in person offering compassionate support may be a lot easier. At the end of the day there is enormous value in just listening, holding space for someone else and letting them express themselves without judgement. I know exactly how you feel about the "I'm sorry your feeling this way" statement, it can sometimes feel like I want to say more but there just aren't the words and I feel uncaring.

Especially when trying to support those with mental health difficulties, remember there is only so much you can do. You cannot change their life neither is it your responsibility to. But by offering an ear and letting them know you are there while they go through their recovery journey shows you care. Sometimes an individual cannot be comforted when they are experiencing certain emotional distress, in this case I think maybe the only thing we can do is to sit alongside them (physically or over text as it were) and with time hope their emotional distress changes or they find comfort in themselves.

It's the 'ape thing', hugging, that I have difficulty with. Though other people's emotional distress affects me greatly, I would only hug someone from my immediate family or a very close friend. Physical contact with strangers or acquaintances I find highly unpleasant. I would tend to dissect the problem causing the distress and suggest remedies, useful, but not in the 'there, there' way.

Absolutely can relate. What I have learnt about myself is that I much prefer to receive information, process it internally over a period of time and then respond. Doesn’t matter what the situation is. Unfortunately this makes it difficult for handling situations which require immediate responses.

Recognising this has allowed me to be honest with others by letting them know I’m not good with advice in moments like that, but I’m happy to listen.

I'm a great listener.

But offering support and comfort during difficult times really throws me. I try....but I feel like I just make the situation worse.

I do feel a bit awkward. Part of me wants to ask "what can I do for you?" but then I'm expecting them to do the emotional admin.

Depends on the person, I suppose. 

don't beat yourself up, you are trying to help when most don't even try. you are a deeply caring person and highly empathic to the suffering of others which is an autistic tendency btw. You are tying to help people as best you can. This makes you a good person

Miss Understood said:

I just don't know how to show it.

How about being authentic and just tell them "I'm sorry. Let me know how I can help. I'm not great at this sort of stuff but I'm here for you".

That tells them you care, you are willing to help (but they need to ask for it) and they have your support.

Let them come to you with what they need - it makes it a whole lot easer to support them.

Well, I've learned that when people are upset, they are either looking for advice to solve a problem, or they want emotional support. Those who solve their problem, end up obviously fine. Those who want emotional support, repeatedly come back to talk to you to get emotional support. I mean, you can try to help them, as you have been trying to do, but you might miss the mark, and come across the wrong way, or say the wrong things, and then they'll be more upset. So then maybe you're not the right person that can emotionally support them, and they need the help of a mental health professional. There's only so much you can do.