Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi All. I'm sure this happens a lot, so please do redirect me if there's a discussion already.
TLDR: clients make complaints about my written 'tone', even though I think I'm being nice. Any advice for getting my well-meaning but untrained office to stop taking their side?
I've worked in my office for nearly 10 years. 4 years ago I disclosed I'm autistic. They have been very slow to make accommodations, though they say very nice things to my face.
I'm a fact checker and a client who was unable/unwilling to provide their evidence has just made a complaint about my tone in an email. This is maybe the third time this has happened, at least, though from different clients. Usually people say that I'm too brusque, although technically still polite. This time I tried really hard to sound casual and jokey when laying out the requirements needed for proof. The client has complained that now I sound condescending and patronising. I can't win!
Whenever one of these complaints comes in about me, my first reaction is 'why do they assume the worst?'. If my employers know I'm autistic, how can I get them to stop taking the client's side and give me the benefit of the doubt - that maybe the client was on the defensive and chose to read my comments in the rudest voice they could imagine? Maybe I, as an openly autistic person, am not trying to be mean or rude all the time?
I guess this is as much a rant as asking for advice. I feel like my job's in constant jeopardy even though technically I do everything right. It's exhausting and really knocks my confidence back.
I had similar where I used to work.I was by far the most experienced person in the team that worked on a very niche area of IT.In fact, they came into the team with zero experience and I was tasked with training them up.I really struggled when they appeared disinterested, not engaged and simply not using their brains!
This was before I was diagnosed and my attitude was having a negative impact on the "team dynamic" (as my boss told me).I got my diagnosis late last year and shared it with the team. At least they then realised that I was not being picking on them, instead it was typical in the way that an autistic person may communicate. There were a couple of reasonable adjustments put in place - one being reduced hours.
However, I think that the damage was already done, plus I have some other health conditions that mean that I have to take a lot of time off sick. This resulted in my employer putting a "settlement agreement" on the table which I had little choice bit to take it.
As you've been open with your employer and let them know about your autism, yet they haven't made any reasonable adjustments in the 4 years that they have known about it, then it may be that they never will make any adjustments.Probably worth speaking to HR and arranging a meeting with them and your manager.There could be the potential of discrimination / failure to make accommodations, but unless you have the strength and resources to go down the legal route (something that I seriously considered in my situation), then I'm afraid that maybe your working for the wrong company and you should look elsewhere.