Excluded from residential trip for reacting to bulling.

I agree with @Snowkatt that it is time to get him out of there quickly and think about your response later. 

Can you imagine what it must be like for your son, being confronted with his bullies in school on a daily basis, knowing that teachers will not help him and will likely actively choose to believe the bullies. It is making life unbearable for him and doing all kinds of harm to his mental health.

The bullies can and will do a BAFTA worthy performance in front of the teachers afterwards, which is why they are more likely to be believed. Meanwhile your son will most probably have what the teachers wrongly see as the hallmarks of a liar, autistic traits such as lack of eye contact and verbal responses that are deemed inappropriate. It is a deeply unfair and unjust reality that so many of us repeatedly encounter throughout our lives.

There are serious safeguarding issues here and the school have repeatedly failed to demonstrate that they are willing or able to keep your son safe.

All that is honestly irrelevant right now, the most important thing you should do is get your son out of that  school first.

The time for  questions, anwsers and taking the required steps  should come later.

Your son's  mental state is the most important right now , you can  contact a solicitor later on and then consider what steps to take.

Legal action against the bullies parents should also be a key part of this 

Not only I would involve the police, I would also take legal action against both the head teacher, every member of the school board and every member of the teaching staff, as well as the parents of the bullies and I would attract massive media attention against that school in order to name and shame them for not doing thier jobs properly - and I would push for them all to be sacked from their positions - it’s no longer a case that children who are being bullied should just have to take and accept being bullied 

Homeschooling is the only solution here - in all incidents of bullying, having been very badly bullied myself, I’m a strong believer in involving the police at the start of any bullying incident and of taking legal action against the school for failing in its duty of care to protect children from bullying, especially vulnerable children 

And get the police and a solictor involved as well 

Yesterday he was chased down the corridor so he hid in lift the said bully then shouted at top off voice he’s in the lift,he got a senior detention for being in lift. I complain the reply I got was , that’s Lucian’s word ! I’ve yet to respond I’m disgusted.

It happened in October when I tackled it the head of year said he was new and didn’t know Lucian then . I pushed for a punishment or sancation for the boy that did this as rest of class where taught it my son calling him gay but I herd nothing. My partner his step dad tried to talk to school but they said they would only talk to me as he wasn’t his biological dad, despite being in his life since 1.5 years old and son now 12. So why didn’t they talk to me ?

Hi when I googled NAS helpline I couldn’t find it,I wondered if they don’t offer this anymore. My son thinks if he changes schools same thing will happen in other school

I am going to echo what everybody else has said.

Get your son out of that  cesspool for a school.

Do it sooner rather than later, follow the links provided by the mod  and look for a school thats better accommodating to him, no matter how long that takes

In the end it will be better for him and for you.

Sadly in my experience, bullies always win and are always rewarded in some way for thier bullying behaviour - as a child, I was very badly bullied in both primary and secondary schools (where it got much worse and was labelled as mad) - I was labelled as hopeless and heedless, deemed to be attracting and inviting bullying to myself by my own actions and behaviour and was punished for being bullied by being sent to a residential psychological facility for 9 months (I was bullied very badly there too, for which I was also punished) and afterwards, held back a year in primary school, labelled as mad and constantly told that it was my fault, for which I was constantly punished and bullied even more, it got much worse in secondary school, stopped from doing both Inter and leaving cert classes, told I was a dunce, put in lowest classes, offered poor alternatives to inter and leaving then had my future career paths decided for me by the teaching staff, local doctor, local parish priest and the local police - when I tried to object to this in the office one day, the teachers, parish priest and the police all firmly told me that I had no right to object and was threatened with being beaten up, on the grounds that no one was ever going to listen to the likes of me and was constantly hassled by the police in our local area, amid being constantly screamed at to “shut up and cop yourself on” when I tried to do something else it was found out by the police for which I recieved a severe corrective beating by the police and by the parish priest, even before I later discovered that I might be gay and before I came out as gay in my teens in the 1980’s 

Caelus said:

better not being apart of this society and finding a way to remove ourselves from it.

ted kaczynski, is that you?

Seriously, I worked in schools and colleges. This is one of the situations that cause teachers to leave. I spoke with many teachers, and they were all either planning to change career, or counting the days to retirement. 

In this situation. the teachers cannot discipline the bullies because they fear the reactions of their families. They cannot protect the kid because SEN services have been defunded massively. Their only choice is to ignore the issue and hope that everything can be swept under the rug. I am happy to have no kids, I would never put them in such a dysfunctional environment.

Dear NAS93142,

We are sorry to hear that your child is going through such a tough time at school. We understand this is a very serious issue, and we would like to provide some information to help you.  

Firstly, you can find our guide on dealing with bullying here: 

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/bullying 

If you would like some confidential advice and support, you may like to call the National Bullying helpline on 0845 2255787 or by visiting their website: https://www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/  

There is also help and advice for children, young people and parents on the Bullybusters website, along with details of their support helpline:  

https://www.bullybusters.org.uk/help_and_advice/  

If you feel you need more urgent help, our website lists some options you could consider https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help 

Please visit our online advice and guidance which explains more about getting extra help in school, assessments, education plans, reviews and school transport.  

Extra help at school in Wales  

Extra help at school in Scotland  

Extra help at school in Northern Ireland  

Extra help at school in England  

The information on our resolving differences in school may be of particular interest to you: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/education/resolving-differences

If you require further support, you may like to contact the following organisations:  

Wales  

• SNAP Cymru provide advice on a variety of issues that a child or young person may encounter during their education https://www.snapcymru.org/get-support/  

Scotland  

• Enquire provide advice about additional support for learning for children attending school https://enquire.org.uk/   

• Govan Law Centre’s Education Law Unit provide legal advice on the rights of pupils with additional support needs https://govanlawcentre.org/education-law-unit/   

Northern Ireland  

The Children’s Law Centre provides a free legal advice service and legal representation for children and young people.  

The NI Commissioner for Children and Young People (NICCY) and their work is focused on making sure children and young people have access to their rights in their day-to-day lives, so they have the best opportunity to reach their full potential.  

England  

• Every local area has a Special Educational Needs and Disabilities Information Advice and Support Service (SENDIASS) that can provide information, advice and support to parents and carers of children and young people with SEND, including on exclusions.   

• Independent Provider of Special Education Advice (IPSEA) is a registered charity that offers free and independent information, advice and support to help get the right education for children and young people with all kinds of SEND.  

•  Coram’s Child Law Advice service can be accessed through their website or contacted on 0300 330 5485 from Monday to Friday, 8am – 6pm.   

• SOS!SEN offers a free, term-time, national helpline, staffed by a team of volunteers, to provide next step advice and support on questions and issues parents may have relating to their child’s SEN provision.  Their helpline number is 0208 538 3731.  

If you need support with an appeal against a decision about a child or young person’s educational needs, your local tribunal administration may also be able to help:   

First-tier Tribunal (special educational needs and disability) in England   

Special Educational Needs Tribunal for Wales   

Kind Regards,

Rosie Mod

That's a common experience in UK schools. They do not have the will to discipline the bullies (not that it would be possible with the current rules), so they just hope that your son gives up. Move him to a different school and try to get him in therapy. This kind of bullying really hurts.

Honestly, I would recommend for you to find another school. It is clear that they don't care about the wellbeing of your child; sadly in lots of schools teachers can be very apathetic towards autistic students (which I know from personal experience) and bullying isn't taken very seriously - if you stand up for yourself you are penalised despite being the victim and if you tell a teacher, they do nothing half the time.

I don't mean to sound pessimistic, I just hate when vulnerable people get picked on as it saddens me.

The (alleged) sexual assault is a criminal matter - you can go directly to the police or contact children's social services. If the school was aware and took no action, that is very serious. The account you give describes a serious lack of safeguarding on the part of the school that needs to be investigated. You could talk to the local education authority, ask for the Designated Safeguarding Lead. You could also contact Ofsted, but after you have informed the police or safeguarding authorities.

Not allowing your son to take part in a school trip sounds like disability discrimination - you could complain to the school, but given the rest of the story you might do better to contact the local education authority or get a solicitor involved. At the very least get advice from the NAS helpline or other advice service.

all i can say is sod that school off, move him to a better school... that school sounds hopeless, and most are the same to be fair as i got bullied alot in school and teachers always seemed to join in or take the bullies side as if they are scared or made the choice of pleasing the majority as sticking up for the bullied would go against the majority and cause a class or school breakdown. they see that they have to always side with the majority... its the same as riot policing... when you have a rioting mob and one innocent guy who is being victimised... the police wont arrest or charge or deal with the criminal mob because theres too many of them... theyd move and arrest the victim because theres only 1 of them and the mob would calm down and be happy. this is just the way our society seems to work in all aspects. it probably is better not being apart of this society and finding a way to remove ourselves from it.

That's terrible and no way should the school be allowing that sort of behaviour from the bullies.

NAS93142 said:

He cry’s every evening at home.

I think you should seriously consider keeping him out of school until they start to take the bullying seriously. The harm being done to his mental health could have serious repercussions. 

NAS93142 said:

He has been given a chart if he ignores the bullying and not shout out for them to stop he will get blue tack.

He should not have to ignore it. I endured a lot of bullying at secondary school and whenever I tried to fight back I was hauled in front of the headmaster and punished. I therefore started to keep my head down and ignore it. Looking back that was certainly not the right approach and it was very damaging to my mental health. He needs to be encouraged to alert teachers every time something happens. 

Personally I'd speak to the local education authority, about the school, a child protection officer at police/social services and maybe a solicitor too. THe school have a duty of care and they're obviously not caring for you child, to ignore a child or anyone else being assaulted in the way your child was with a stick, is a clear breach of the law. I'd remove him from that school immediately and kick up a massive fuss, speak to the NSPCC, local press if they're the only ones who will take it seriously, your MP anyone, but don't continue to suffer.