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Justbe

Hi,

I'm looking for some advice. 

I'm fortunate enough to have been able to get a PA/Carer for a couple of hours, twice a week. I'm autistic and partially sighted. This is to help me get out, as I'd rather stay at home alone (but sometimes I get lonely and I know this isn't good for my mental health). They're nice, but I'm struggling. Every time the day arrives (and sometimes even the day before) I dread it. I've realised it's because I don't want to make conversation, but feel obliged to. 

We go for a walk, go to a cafe, get some shopping etc. I don't know how to manage this. Honestly I think I'd be better off having a dog. But that's not an option. I'm not ungrateful. I don't know what to do x

Parents
  • Justbe said:
    I don't want to make conversation, but feel obliged to. 

    The obligation appears to be one you're placing on yourself.

    Ask yourself what support do you 'need' from these sessions. Unless practising conversation is one of your objectives then it is not a requirement. It sounds like your main objective is to be accompanied to encourage you to go out. Feeling like you have to script conversation or focus on that while out is adding undue pressure on yourself.

    I think in your situation I would explain to the PA how my autistic brain is not naturally disposed to small talk conversation for the sake of it and that I prefer to communicate to exchange necessary information only. I would also explain that when out there can be too many sensory distractions to enable me to focus on conversation, particularly in a noisy environment.

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  • Justbe said:
    I don't want to make conversation, but feel obliged to. 

    The obligation appears to be one you're placing on yourself.

    Ask yourself what support do you 'need' from these sessions. Unless practising conversation is one of your objectives then it is not a requirement. It sounds like your main objective is to be accompanied to encourage you to go out. Feeling like you have to script conversation or focus on that while out is adding undue pressure on yourself.

    I think in your situation I would explain to the PA how my autistic brain is not naturally disposed to small talk conversation for the sake of it and that I prefer to communicate to exchange necessary information only. I would also explain that when out there can be too many sensory distractions to enable me to focus on conversation, particularly in a noisy environment.

Children