Do you struggle to explain what you need from other people?

Sounds like you need to learn ways to be more assertive - it works not just with asking for what you want, but also for being more disciplined in your own head to cut through the BS and identify what it is you actually want.

It made a big difference for me, especially as there is lots of role play in the right sort of assertivness training course that make you face up to the stuff we typically struggle with - time after time until you get it right, but each time we fail we get a team analysis of what went wrong and the collective support to try it again.

Once you get that breakthrough it makes so much difference but the path is a difficult one, or it was for me.

Probably the biggest single take away from that was how to deal with your own thoughts - effectively self discipline which as an autist makes a world of difference.

 You know what brainfreeze is! I call it "Mindblank". I am glad to know that it is not just me who gets it. 

I get it when visiting doctors where I end up talking about something "Default" just to gree my mind up so I can talk, otherwize I can't even think about what I wanted to talk about... The real reason for my visit! It took me two whole years due to this just to ask a doctor if I was on the spectrum (Was trying to find out what the shutdoens were before I knew what they were called as I had almost given up on life and was desparate to find out what was wrong with me. It took another four and a half years wait to be assessed as I was fast tracked because of a house move to an area that had much shorter waiting lists. I was soo annoyed with myself due to not being able to ask due to mindblank, that for a while I wanted nothing to do with autism, but then I was researching about prosopragnosia which I know I have and my Mum has (Don't think there is an official assessment for prosopragnosia in the UK as when I mentioned it to a doctor that it was a problem she said "So?" as if it didn't matter! (It was the reason for me failing collage as I kept getting zero marks as I handed in the work into the wrong teachers which made me not bother to even try because I assumed the lecturers were against me because I reasoned I should have at least had some marks, though I was far too shy to ask why I had zero marks).  But doctors do not believe it is a problem that can effect ones life. Shutdowns are worse though, especially when they push one into burnout which takes years to recover. I am slowly recovering but want to be fully recovered back to where I was before 2019 when I had the last big burnout.  Doctors know nothing much about this as I went through burnout after burnout and I could not talk about them as I dis not know how to even describe what I was going through. I kept begging my Mum to ask a et to look at me because I reasoned they could examine me without me needing to talk. I have had second thoughts about that though as someone pointed out where vets stick the thermometer to take the animals temperatures. I know all too well the looks some of our cats and dogs gave us in the past! Their eyes eaid it all! 

It took me three whole days of watching every single youtube video about prosopragnosia while trying to avoid the "Ask An Autistic" one as I was frustrated I kept getting mindblank when I tried to ask, and I only had that ladies video left on the whole of youtube, so I watched it after three days of watching everything else!  And she said something like 80% of those with prosopragnosia are on the autism spectrum.  I booked anotherdoctors appointment as I was determined as for me it was life or death as I had come to the end of what I could do, as I could hardly work even low hours part time any more! I had to wait three weeks for the appointment and I took my Mum in and told her what to ask if I had mindblank. Yes, I had mindblank! Mum had to ask! 

Was clear that doctors don't know what shutdowns are, but at least she put me forward to be assessed. I had thought she could give me a YES/NO answer to if the shutdowns I was trying to describe (Without success) were autism related and if I was on the spectrum. Did not know I had to wait four and a half years to find out! (Actually found out what the shutdowns were earlier but by then I hit another major burnout and was in a mess which is the last time I worked. If I had known about autism and would have been assessed there and then when I first needed the help, I would have been able to keep working as I would not have pushed myself way too far which caused me to mentally collapse. But I didn't know the damage I was doing to myself. One very much feels like one is on one own at times because one can't describe inner feelings into words.  Example is today. I did not realize I was overtired due to lack of sleep at night until it hit mewhile I was driving, where my reactions were effected, so I went to find somewhere to pull in (Mum needed to go shopping) and had a brief sleep in the car. Did not feel tired at all until I realized something wasn't right. No. I would not suddenly sleep! Haha! I go physically numb hours before that stage! It was more I did not have the ability to feel tiredness until I had to search my inner feelings to work out what it was that my body was telling me. Is why I am now lying on my bed as I type this. Other people "Feel" tired. Before I hit several burnouts I was more in touch with feelings, but still some feelings I die not know what they were. Most of my life I havehad a certain feeling that hit me in kornings before school, collage or work, and it meant I had difficulties walking. Was ok driving and ok cycling as my mind was on other things, but not walking as the inner feeling hit and stopped me walking. Only decades later did I recently put two and two together. The feeling is anxiety! Anxiety stops me walking. 

When driving, I am focussed on driving so anxiety does not hit, as I relax when driving,  but when I reach my destination I can be stuck in the car and not be able to get out to walk.

Mountain Goat said:

I get it when visiting doctors where I end up talking about something "Default" just to gree my mind up so I can talk, otherwize I can't even think about what I wanted to talk about... The real reason for my visit!

I'll focus on practical help here. Sorry if has been so difficult for you but I hope these suggestions help.

1 - Write stuff down. If you are going to meet someone for a specific purpose, write down the questions and likely responses to their questions in a nice, easy to follow layout and take it with you.

Give the people advance warning of your approach if you can, but if not give them a card at the start that says you may be reading from your script as you suffer from difficulties in face to face interaction and may read a pre-prepated response since responses are difficult for you.

This should cover the bulk of the interactions and where there is other stuff you need to reply then have a second card that says "I may have to write to you afterwards with an answer to this as I have trouble giving an accurate response in this situation".

2 - For stuff like the exams, when submitting them, put them in an envelope with the teachers name, the exam it is being submitted for, your name and the date - this is likely to mean it gets forwarded to them correctly when/if you mess up. Just make sure you tell whatever organisation it is that you have prosopragnosia.

3 - for driving you really need to get a good handle on this or you are at risk of killing someone. It isn't a risk you should ever take unless you prepare - maybe make a ritual of before going to the car to check when you last had rest, if you feel phsically fine and take a mild stimulant (strong coffee, energy drink or whatever you like) before starting. Ideally have some on hand in case you need the same to return home.

For long trips, map your energy out before hand so you don't have any risk of collapse during the trip. Keep sugary sweets on hand as well as energy drinks just in case.

Since you know you have this issue you may need to disclose it to your insurers otherwise you could get into a lot of trouble if you are involved in a crash.

Mountain Goat said:

I get it when visiting doctors where I end up talking about something "Default" just to gree my mind up so I can talk, otherwize I can't even think about what I wanted to talk about... The real reason for my visit!

I'll focus on practical help here. Sorry if has been so difficult for you but I hope these suggestions help.

1 - Write stuff down. If you are going to meet someone for a specific purpose, write down the questions and likely responses to their questions in a nice, easy to follow layout and take it with you.

Give the people advance warning of your approach if you can, but if not give them a card at the start that says you may be reading from your script as you suffer from difficulties in face to face interaction and may read a pre-prepated response since responses are difficult for you.

This should cover the bulk of the interactions and where there is other stuff you need to reply then have a second card that says "I may have to write to you afterwards with an answer to this as I have trouble giving an accurate response in this situation".

2 - For stuff like the exams, when submitting them, put them in an envelope with the teachers name, the exam it is being submitted for, your name and the date - this is likely to mean it gets forwarded to them correctly when/if you mess up. Just make sure you tell whatever organisation it is that you have prosopragnosia.

3 - for driving you really need to get a good handle on this or you are at risk of killing someone. It isn't a risk you should ever take unless you prepare - maybe make a ritual of before going to the car to check when you last had rest, if you feel phsically fine and take a mild stimulant (strong coffee, energy drink or whatever you like) before starting. Ideally have some on hand in case you need the same to return home.

For long trips, map your energy out before hand so you don't have any risk of collapse during the trip. Keep sugary sweets on hand as well as energy drinks just in case.

Since you know you have this issue you may need to disclose it to your insurers otherwise you could get into a lot of trouble if you are involved in a crash.