Published on 12, July, 2020
I have a special interest which consumed my life when I was a child but I managed to refocus my priorities when I was about sixteen. I finally started to commit less time to it/ spent less time talking about it and my social life improved dramatically.
Six months ago (ten years later after this change), I fell back into the all-consuming fantasy world of my special interest and the obsession is worse than it's ever been. I spend every waking moment thinking about it/reading about it/engaging with content on it.
I think part of the reason I stopped in the first place is I had become embarrassed by my special interest. My boyfriend at the time made jokes about it and I learnt to suppress it to impress people and fit in.
Last year, I became single for the first time in 7 years and it's all come flooding back.
The problem is, I can see my family getting worried. I don't go out, I don't see my friends, I don't talk about anything other than my special interest. Personally, I'm having a great time. I haven't fel this free and happy in years. But I can see by the reactions of the people around me that this isn't normal and I'm worrying them.
I'm not sure if it's symptomatic of a decline in my mental health, or if I'm actually just embracing a part of myself I tried to ignore for too long and it's coming in a huge wave cause I've put it off for so long.
I know I want to manage it so I can stop people from worrying, but I don't want to give it up again because it makes me happy- in fact, it's the only thing that makes me happy at the moment. My life is empty without it. I genuinely don't know what I was doing for ten years not paying it the right attention.
Can anyone relate to this? Or does anyone have any guidance?
NAS92601 said:I know I want to manage it
The best way I ever found for this is to make it like a reward after having done your other chores / tasks. Even then set limits on it and try to have a day off once a week to stop it becoming all consuming.
The chores / tasks can be everything from personal hygeine, housework, keeping in contact with others etc.
NAS92819 said:You need to make it your career!
Good advice.
Start storyboarding your own adventures in the environment of the series and see if you can build up a creative stream from this over time. The stories can be ported to other environments with a little effort but see what fan fiction exists and try a few short stories published there to start with and develop your style.
A good tip is to keep a notepad to write down ideas when they occurr and leave developing these for later - it helps you star in the moment more when around others and should stop you living full time in that world in your head.
It could also be that you are escaping from something by doing this so have a hard look at the time you started and what preceeded it. It may be you need to address something in your life to let you move on but in the meantime see where it takes you so long as it is being positive for your mental health.
You need to make it your career! If you have an obsessive special interest, don't ignore it, use it!
Self-publish your work on Amazon, for example. Worst case scenario, no one buys it. Best case - it becomes the next Game of Thrones, makes you mega-rich and you still never need to leave your house!
I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but think of a positive thing I've noticed in what you're saying - you have actually noticed this in yourself and are reflecting on it, that sounds like a good sign to me. You also mention having friends and family who care about you. If you've recently left a relationship then it does sound like there is a gap to fill in your life, and enjoying what you want to enjoy is absolutely fine - I'm a parent and for a period of years I put off playing video games completely (what I enjoy doing), but then life just got dull and focused on what other people needed from me.
On the other hand, if the balance swings too far in the wrong direction then perhaps it could be an issue, one which you've started noticing. It doesn't mean you have to pick one or the other, instead see if you can balance things out more. Someone suggested setting yourself reminders, that sounds like a good idea to me, maybe try planning your day so that it contains a bit of everything - the boring chores you have to do, seeing the important people in your life, and also doing what interests you. If you set some time limits on things it might help you switch focus better.
Definitely relate and when it happened to me it was me embracing myself. I got obsessed with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles when I was figuring s**t out about autism, it was kind of childish for my age but it felt good to do the childish thing and defy the voices in my head and that was the start of unmasking, cause I had a mask internally and in front of myself too...I felt so much joy and all senses were getting stronger, like something around me was making things dull before.
My hyperfocus stayed around a while but the intensity decreased eventually, so I guess just let it happen and give into your wants, and if you forget to take care of yourself, maybe setting reminders would work? I didn't have that difficulty cause I was living with my parents and I had college too so there were things that would remind me anyway, but if you don't have that yet, maybe tell someone to remind you too?
Its a fantasy book series.
I cannot be the only reader who got to the end of that screed and wondered just what exactly IS your special interest?
This matters somewhat when it comes to giving out the "guidance" I feel...