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Feeling let down

NAS72378
6 months ago

I am part of a group of 4 heterosexual couples and today I discovered the other 3 men, I have known for about 10 years, went to watch the Rugby in France this weekend. It was never mentioned to me, and it has triggered so many childhood traumas of being excluded by those you are supposed to be close to.

I don't really know hope to cope with this, all the feelings of failure have hit me hard, and I am in my 60s. 

I just feel so broken tonight and want to shut myself away from the world. I want to end my relationship with my partner to avoid ever seeing these people again. Am I being irrational?

Parents
  • 6 months ago

    I'd be tempted to bring it up next time you all get together.
    Something along the lines of "Did you guys enjoy the rugby? I'm not sure why you didn't ask me if I'd be interested in coming along".

    No point beating around the bush in this situation. What's to say that similar will happen next time? Make it a part of the discussion so that you can find out what happened and then make an informed decision as to whether you (and your partner) want to remain in the circle of "friends".
    Maybe they had a valid reason for not inviting you (or even telling you about it), but you'll probably never know if you allow the matter to be brushed under the carpet.

  • 6 months ago in reply to GPK26

    Thanks GPK26, but I will not be able to bring it up as that will cause a schism with my partner and her female friends, who are the core of the group.

    I did look at their socials and found a few other events I have clearly been excluded from.  It seems I am only included when my partner is.  That is a very uncomfortable feeling.

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  • 6 months ago in reply to GPK26

    Thanks GPK26, but I will not be able to bring it up as that will cause a schism with my partner and her female friends, who are the core of the group.

    I did look at their socials and found a few other events I have clearly been excluded from.  It seems I am only included when my partner is.  That is a very uncomfortable feeling.

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