Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm looking for some advice I guess about how to find a sense of self or anyone who has had a similar experience.
I've been struggling recently with feeling like I don't know who I am, what traits I have, what I like etc. I have spent most of my life absorbing traits and stuff from others and now I'm at a point where I feel almost empty. I struggle with quite bad anxiety and at times depression so I find it hard to make friends or try new things. I feel like when I was younger I had less shame to be who I was and so thought I had a solid sense of self but as I've got older I experience more and more shame and so now I'm just confused and empty. Sometimes I wonder if I really like the things I like or whether it's just something I've absorbed from someone else. I feel a bit like a ghost. I hope that makes sense!
Has anyone had a similar experience? I'm trying hypnotherapy at the weekend which is last ditch attempt to try and get into my subconscious so I'm hoping that may help. For context I'm a 32 year old woman, recently diagnosed with autism, I work full time and am just recovering from burnout (although am still finding full time work hard).
I had quite a traumatic experience last year, but ironically stripping away pretty much everything that formed my life allowed me to really think about what I actually like, want to do, who am I etc.
Obviously I wouldn't recommend going through that, but I think it may also help if you had a friend or someone close to you who could help you with it, help deconstruct all of these things.