Relationships

Hello, 

I am always overthinking in relationships as recently, I broke up with my ex a while ago and we have reminded friends until recently, they have always known about my Autism & OCD tendencies and have been rather supportive of them & not bothered by them which is a good thing. But recently they told me how they felt and something didn't sit right with me, did they feel that way because I was autistic, I always truly felt that I was strange or something, always talking myself down. But then they told me some stuff and it brought it up all back up.

It's like I think, can I find someone who I could have a relationship with? Without showing my tendencies or anything like that. 

I would love to hear some feedback on how you cope in relationships, I have always struggled but I struggle with my emotions and explaining them. 

  • I would love to hear some feedback on how you cope in relationships

    That is a very big subject to cover.

    Assuming you are OK in starting a relationship then you have to look at the main components:

    1 - balance / harmony in both your lives

    2 - what does the other person need & want

    3 - what do you need & want - and how do you let your partner know

    4 - How do you grow the relationship from the initial getting together to long term commitment.

    Which of these aspects do you struggle most with and I can try to flesh them out from my experience and understanding.

  • Why would I buy a gift from Tesco? It has nothing to do with the monetary value aspect of it. 

  • "Situations have ended sad
    Relationships have all been bad
    Mine've been like Verlaine's and Rimbaud's"

    Not really, I have been married for 27 years. I didn't know I was autistic until about 4 years ago, though obviously I have always been autistic. I mask very well, I do not know where my masking begins or ends. I did have problems converting friendships into romantic relationships for many years. I think this was based on a number of factors, not knowing when someone was attracted to me, being emotionally reserved and being reluctant to expose myself to possible rejection. That was until I realised that my future wife was absolutely perfect for me. I forced myself to be emotionally available and threw caution to the winds and I was lucky. 

    Along with the problems, autistic people have lots of advantages for a potential romantic partner, we tend to be honest, kind and loyal, and we do not manipulate people for our own gain.

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  • [removed by moderator]   (Sorry, couldn't resist...)

  • never had a relationship, dont know how to make any... do you buy girlfriends at tesco? if not then i dunno how to get one... ill try looking on amazon or something i guess