Published on 12, July, 2020
I've only recently been diagnosed with autism (last November). The reason I became interested in the possibility is that I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for well over a decade. One of the reasons I've been struggling has been a profound fear of death. And a strong dissatisfaction with Reality and desire for there to be something transcending it that will fill what now seems, at present, to be a completely unsolvable yearning deep within the heart of me.
I should quickly add that I respect all faiths and also atheist viewpoints. But I've spoken to vicars and philosophers, heard from the religious (from all kinds of faiths), the spiritual, researching in great detail why they believe what they do... and I've spoken to none-believers and how they find meaning and purpose in the face of death.
And have had TWO therapists, who tried to help me with the issue.
Thus far, nothing has helped. I want 'faith' but can't find any evidence strong enough to make me believe or overcome my innate skepticism. And- with much respect towards those for whom this works- the numerous ideas that comfort and bring meaning to nonbelievers simply don't work for me. Life that ends in oblivion and where this hunger within is never answered, seems to me- personally, I'm aware this is probably very different for many of you- to be devoid of anything worth existing for.
I've had much advice along the lines of, 'have you tried not caring?' or 'have you tried finding value in something else instead?' but, while I'm open to trying new things, obviously what I can't change is my very shape of my heart. How easy life would be if we could just choose not to care about things (you'd never have a worry again!) or if we could choose what it is we want.
It's all very upsetting- but I feel like I've run out of ways of attempting to solve this problem and it's feeling very hopeless.
Can anyone relate? What can I do?
Oh my darling. There most definitely is life after death. I've been privileged to sense and hear and pass on messages from the after life. Your loved ones who have passed are with you and want you to be comforted by this knowledge. I don't believe, I KNOW. And faith is just that, faith in what the universe gives you , however difficult, is how it's supposed to be. Faith cannot be proven. Believe in yourself and your own universal energy. I would recommend going to a spiritualist church service and making some contacts with genuine people who can do a reading for you. Most of them offer spiritual healing sessions for a donation or a small fee. Healing includes emotional healing as well as physical. I can't imagine you would ever regret it. We are spiritual beings living in a physical world which is temporary. The spiritual world is home. I've touched it and I didn't want to come back. I'm not afraid of death. It's just another chapter in your soul's eternal existence.
In light and love my friend.
Btw, i wrote about my experiences with my faith in this post and linked it on the forum. You might want to have a read.
https://community.autism.org.uk/f/miscellaneous-and-chat/36156/my-experiences-of-my-christian-faith
I told my nephew who stopped practising his faith to give it at least 6 months to work again. A year is better. 10 years is a long time to be searching. With my faith I think that the battle for an afterlife keeps on going pretty much to your last days. Still, i won't be able to judge for myself when the times comes.
Hi Tom. What I would suggest to others is explore and find out for themselves in their own way. Don’t even believe what I am about to say but, well browse the world. As a teenager I had out of body experiences. I became a Buddhist and just focused on that for years. However later on I went to a Spiritualist Church. Just in case you don’t know they have services with mediums who claim to communicate with the afterlife. Also private one to one readings I have observed dozens of mediums and some stuff is maybe, some floppy but some stuff profound and could not be explained away by cold reading, there are also organisations who research such things. Also scientists and philosophers that are involved. It is true that our fears are related to fight and flight which is about death avoidance and grabbing on to life. With humans our personalities combine with our survival instincts.
I have had extreme fears. Dad died in a shotgun accident when I was five, badly burned at nine years old, injured in a car accident when I was 11 years old. Badly bullied as a child which I can now put down to Autism. Obviously diagnosed with PTSD along with other stuff. Also just to interject I wonder which has been more stressful the childhood traumas or the long term effects of Autism even if a society problem.
Also with meditation and mind expansion I have had experiences of oneness and nature of the universe I won’t or can’t explain too much but had a profound effect. Beyond duality where stuff is not separate. Personality stress can relate to being different which can be a form of separation.
I would say that my knowledge/faith or understanding that we are just living temporarily in a body has had a great affect on me coping with horrible fears. I have applied my thinking and beliefs/knowledge when the fears crop up. There is all kinds of stuff. There is so much out there to explore.
I don’t know how I would have coped without all the stuff I looked into. All kinds of realisations merging with consciousness.
The best therapy ever.
Again don’t just believe me but seek as much as you want.
As far as evidence is concerned there are so many ways to consider stuff. Even if some stuff is not totally proven can one still apply it. One of my favourite quotes from a philosopher from Birmingham University, Lisa Bortolotti is “The Epistemic Innocence of Irrational Beliefs” that is if beliefs might be irrational or partly so if they serve a good purpose they can be innocent. Even then what is irrational can sometimes be debated.
If you want I can give you hints of more: information, reading, organisations or whatever but of course don’t just believe me.
I can relate.
I found it all boiled down to one thing: Is what I see and am experiencing created or random?
Once you figure that one out then the rest kinda falls into place.
The evidence I haev avaialel suggets that you do have to DECIDE if you want to live a self directed and meaningful life, rather than just being a "hostage to fortune".
My avatar represents (amongst other things) the possibilty that the majority of "you" exists in the other 8 or so dimensions that people inifintely cleverer than me insist have to exist in order for physics, etc. to work.
At that pont I was confrnted by teh horrible idea that life after death might not only be real but might be completely (incomprehnesibly) different to this one and that this one might be considered soemthing of a training excercise. I stopped wanting to kill myself around this time, figuring that death could mean a thrusting out of the spiritual fryng pan literally into the fire!
I resolved to wrestle the life I have "into shape" as it were, and do my best to leave this life having conquered as many of it's challenges as I can.
As JD (and most religious or pahilosophy books) say (but in not quite the same words) "yer pays yer money, yer takes yer choice..."
The word you need to understand is 'faith'. There is no evidence what so ever for any relegion, you just have to have faith and believe is basically how it is. Personally I have no relegion what so ever, I only work in logic and proveable things. We are animals on a planet that has evolved over millions of years, there are probably other planets with live on out there. Satistically there has to be life on other planets so how does god fit in with that? I am a simple person and believe nothing until I see it.
LOL mate, that's the oldest problem in history. Humanity has tried to find a solution to this problem since the Stone Age. Wars have been fought about it. Do you really expect to find the solution in here?Go talk with some religious people from different faiths and culture. Find a compatible one and follow it. If you cannot, try with the militant atheists. If you do not like them, found a new religion (LOL).
We cannot give you an answer. Nobody can. You will have to find the answer yourself, or to make one.