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Learning to unmask

NAS92009

Hi I recently found out I was autistic after many years of masking throughout school not realising that this was the reason I never felt as though I fit in with my friend group. It was easier for me to mask back then as I was doing it subconsciously but now that I am more aware of my brain it is harder for me to mask in the same way. I know I should stop masking but I just don’t see how I can do it because I’ve never known anything else, it’s like I can’t control it because I think if I start being myself people won’t like me. If anyone has any advice on ways they started unmasking around people and their experience with it then that would be great thanks.

  • Hi, very randomly stumbled upon your post wandering in this forum and I just wanted to thank you for expressing exactly how I feel...  I wouldnt put it better myself - I am doing it subconsciously to the point that I dont know whats real me and whats not anymore. Its quite annoying actually that its out of my control. I know that i behave in one way with the people I like and in another way with the people I am neutral or not super comfortable around, however I cannot "choose" the way I behave - it really depend on the person I am with. So I feel you :)

  • in reply to Take5

    I also in the past have Fawned a lot and again I’m working on that as I find it very unhealthy for me and actually makes me quite angry with myself. 

  • Hi

    Unmasking has not come to me yet as I feel I need a diagnosis before I feel that I can look into that process. I too don’t have a clue how to start and feel at the moment that I don’t really have an identity.  But one thing I have definitely started to do in public is the complete opposite to what I used to do…… instead of being over friendly and talking to anyone I don’t bother anymore, it has even got to the stage that if I do it without realising I give myself a good telling off. It’s something I have always felt that I have had to do to fit in but now unless it’s someone who I genuinely think will benefit from me approaching them (as in people who are usually overlooked by the general population) I just can’t be bothered.