How do you cope?

I don't think I actually did anything different after my diagnosis.  i got it 2 weeks before first lockdown.  I start the "Understanding Autism" course next week, several years after the diagnosis.  I am going there to make friends.  I already understand Autism, after all I've lived it for nearly 50 years.  If you manage to make it to 30 without a diagnosis, then age is largely irrelevant.  You will have all the mechanisms required to function in life and understand yourself and how to deal with things.  Yes by all means read books on it and maybe you get some interesting tweaks you can do to your life to make it easier, but core level stuff, you probably already have that down.

As to coping with routine change, I don't, nor do I change my routine in general.  I have likes and dislikes in terms of sensory issues and I just avoid dislikes, but i can cope with them up to a point. 

Meltdowns occur when I am severely stressed or something occurs that messes with my routine.  The last one was a couple of years back while at college, when a planned event was changed last minute and the lecturer decided to double down and call me rude for just walking away from the situation.  Then he took the full brunt of me going to flip out mode and telling him in no uncertain terms that he should be somewhere else.  I went home after that, as I was too stressed to deal with it all. 

Social communication is easy, I don't do it full stop.  Can't be bothered with the stress of maintaining friendships (most of the time).  I have acquaintances that I talk to in passing, but mostly I am a social leech, I go to places with lots of people to feel less alone, but without the need to actually invest in interaction.  Take from that what you want.   I find spending time with strangers in a supermarket or library, that I don't have to talk to, is enough to lessen the loneliness factor.

Hi 

I’ve read Looking after your autistic self also. Another good one!

Thanks!

Thanks!

Hi, I was diagnosed 7 months ago as an adult and very much going through the same experience. I am still learning about the things I find hard and understanding what is going off in my brain when I experience sensory overload and I am really trying to find coping techniques myself also. The main thing I have found helpful recently is mindfulness and breathing exercises which I get on Insight Timer app currently. I am also reading a good book called Looking after your autistic self by Niamh Garvey which I am finding reallly helpful and can relate to it a lot. I recommend it as it could be useful for your situation. But honestly I know what you are going through and I am finding it a long process learning about myself and trying to find what helps me and coping techniques. Wishing you all the best on your journey to find what works and helps you.

Hi

sounds great Awesomely. Enjoy 

Yes north wales is a great place to live as it has beaches mountains lakes etc 

I haven’t been there I don’t think

i go up abergele castle mountain it’s the best place to go

Take5 said:

By far the best book I’ve read is Untypical by Pete Wharmby. It really resonated with me and found some things quite helpful 

Hi!

 I like Pete Wharmby’s book too, I will be attending one of his webinars in April on the topic of Autistics in Secondary Education. It will be great to hear his insights as a former teacher himself.

Hi Sparrow

By far the best book I’ve read is Untypical by Pete Wharmby. It really resonated with me and found some things quite helpful 

Have you ever been to Llyn Cau and camped? I would love to. I've walked there - it's sublime. I think camping there would be quite something

This could have been my question. I'm at exactly the same stage - or nearly as I'm waiting for my write up of my diagnosis. It's very confusing having lived so long thinking I was just a bit useless, neurotic or hypersensitive. Actually I'm really tough.

 Do any of you have recommendations for resources/books etc which might help pinkappleand I? Something like a workbook?

PS Ben wales I'm very jealous! I love North Wales but live a long way away. 

I like to go wild camping a lot as I live in north wales and have a great spot to go up a mountain overlooking the sea etc

ive recently been diagnosed with ASD at the age of 36 so I’m trying to be kinder to myself and stop beating myself up about the way I have struggled and try to better my relationships

Since my diagnosis, I don't feel guilty about being on my own so much. I've realised that I *need* more time and space, as working & socialising are exhausting. I make sure to find time for my interests, such as running and making YouTube videos. Basically, as Martin said, I'm kinder to myself.

I don't.

It's a constant work in process. You need time to work through what it all means for you. Find your tribe, connection with others goes a massive way to help one feeling less defective. And trying to find the lighter side of situations. Reading about double empathy and also burnout have also helped. Meditate. A lot of the time it is about coping unfortunately, but sometimes you may flourish now you know more about yourself.

Since diagnosis I haven't changed how I behave much, I am just kinder to myself. I do not force myself to attend social events that I suspect I would be uncomfortable at, excepting things like weddings and suchlike, where I think attending is socially unavoidable. I also try to build in 'alone time' after social events in order to recover. As for sensory issues, I just try to avoid my triggers when possible. If someone's perfume is making me feel ill, I get away. I walk down side streets to avoid crowds and at all costs I avoid touching nylon fabric, which is my most potent sensory trigger.