How do you cope?

i dont, i just be me and if others dont like it, which they dont, then i dont really care what others think anyway because they mean nothing to me.

alot of people likely think im ignorant or rude or a bad person, i dont talk and id likely overreact to any provocation or annoying thing in a harsh way. but i dont really care what they think as they are not in my life or that important. i can try explaining my view and side but they often wont understand and are not smart enough to follow what i say and will likely pick a word to misunderstand and take more offence at anyway lol so i dont care. i can be me, and they can be them, i think they are all weird and lacking of intellect while they can think of me as a rude bad person. they dont know me and i dont care to know them lol

I can sense when I’m even nearing a Lush shop, every skin product I use has to be perfume and alcohol free, otherwise my skin will actually start weeping and bleeding. Martins mention of nylon is another sensory hell, when I was a child there was a big fabric company called Bentford Nylons everything was nylon, bed sheets, t-shirts ,shirts and curtains. My mother soon realised that I couldn’t even stand still in a nylon shirt.

I’m ok with more natural scents that I actually like - such as essential oils like lavender, or mandarin for example. In fact I really like those. It’s the strong artificial smells that I can’t stand. 

I can't go anywhere near Lush. Why can't I get a shower spay etc. without perfume.  

Thank you for asking the question. I was going to reply by others have said all I would have said. My de-stressor are mindful walks and time alone when I have control. Thank you to all the others who answered. It has reassured me that I was on the right track.

I’ve gone on the sick to cope

Hi Stu

I have YouTube channel

Exploring with Ben

I think I do too with nylon, I remember disliking the texture when I had a T-shirt made of it when I was a child. I also remember learning at Chemistry in school that nylon got the name as it was discovered in New York and London simultaneously. I've just asked Google Gemini that and it's informed me it is 'a common misconception' (If I ever bump into my old Chemistry teacher again I'll let him know) 

Loneliness; noone to help me with shopping; noone to help me with, well, anything that involves talking to strangers, eg reporting repairs that need doing at home, disputing incorrect bills, contacting lawyers when I'm the victim of discrimination etc; noone to help me find social opportunities and noone to go with me when I find one myself. All sorts of things really.

I was recently diagnosed with asd and ADHD at 37, love living in north and just being in the woods in a hammock under a tarp, preferably in the rain. Totally get where your coming from  

That sounds great - I’ve always loved the idea of wild camping but generally have stayed at campsites due to feeling a bit intimidated by the idea of wild camping. I love watching you tube videos of people wild camping though. 

I agree that communicating with and/or reading about other autistic people is massively helpful, It helps to realise that many other people are having a similar experience and that they understand. 

I find the smell of other peoples perfume incredibly unpleasant too - it seems so strong to me even just walking by people outside - but my husband often says he can’t smell it at all. 

I’m not sure that I do cope to be honest!
for a lot of my life I’ve worked from home (creative work) and that’s been good for me I think. I do better in a quiet environment that I can really be myself in. I’m just not great in crowds or with lots of people in a work environment. In terms of social events etc - that’s not something I do much of - I spend most of my time with family. I lead a very quiet life and I’m happier that way. I live in the countryside and love going out for walks and visiting various places with my family to explore. 

Sorry to read this, Mark. What makes it especially hard to cope? Hopefully, sharing your thoughts here makes life a tiny bit more tolerable.

I don't cope.

I agree with Martin, Out_of_Step, Neil and Ben Wales.  Between them, I have nothing to add - except to endorse their collective advice.

Hi Pinkapple, As others have said, the most important thing is to be kind to yourself. Work out what needs changing in your life to make you happier, and work towards implementing it.

I stopped accepting social invitations if I knew I would not enjoy them and/or get overloaded. By stopping pressurising myself to "act normal" or "fit in" I became more relaxed and over the past few years have become friendly with most of the women where I work. I'm open with them about how things affect me, and surprisingly, some of them who aren't autistic have shared with me how they get anxious in certain situations, and what they find difficult to deal with. Remember that everyone has challenges in life and we are all entitled to a little empathy from others.

I have also learned to articulate how things affect me - to my partner, my colleagues, and to management at work, which improves relationships and has enabled my work environment to be changed to suit me better. I have often related back to assertiveness training I did years ago, which can help with thinking about how to request support or explain how things are negatively impacting me, so if you have never participated in assertiveness training it might be useful to look into whether this is available in your workplace or if you could do it online.

Good luck with your journey. As I read in a book recently, "we are all the same in different ways'

I don't think I actually did anything different after my diagnosis.  i got it 2 weeks before first lockdown.  I start the "Understanding Autism" course next week, several years after the diagnosis.  I am going there to make friends.  I already understand Autism, after all I've lived it for nearly 50 years.  If you manage to make it to 30 without a diagnosis, then age is largely irrelevant.  You will have all the mechanisms required to function in life and understand yourself and how to deal with things.  Yes by all means read books on it and maybe you get some interesting tweaks you can do to your life to make it easier, but core level stuff, you probably already have that down.

As to coping with routine change, I don't, nor do I change my routine in general.  I have likes and dislikes in terms of sensory issues and I just avoid dislikes, but i can cope with them up to a point. 

Meltdowns occur when I am severely stressed or something occurs that messes with my routine.  The last one was a couple of years back while at college, when a planned event was changed last minute and the lecturer decided to double down and call me rude for just walking away from the situation.  Then he took the full brunt of me going to flip out mode and telling him in no uncertain terms that he should be somewhere else.  I went home after that, as I was too stressed to deal with it all. 

Social communication is easy, I don't do it full stop.  Can't be bothered with the stress of maintaining friendships (most of the time).  I have acquaintances that I talk to in passing, but mostly I am a social leech, I go to places with lots of people to feel less alone, but without the need to actually invest in interaction.  Take from that what you want.   I find spending time with strangers in a supermarket or library, that I don't have to talk to, is enough to lessen the loneliness factor.