No real friends or acquaintances

Many years ago, I had a Warhammer Fantasy player complaining to me because nobody wanted to be his friend, and he was clueless on why. I told him: "Maybe because you smell like rotting cheese?" He had a full meltdown and left the building. Months later, he thanked me because I was the only one that helped him to acknowledge and address his problem. 

Probably, what you need is some honest feedback. Somebody must tell you what pushes people away. Maybe you have bad body odour or bad grooming? Maybe you speak too close to other people? If I were in you I would go to a therapist and tell them: "I need to know why people do not want to deal with me. Tell me the truth and do not be afraid to offend or traumatize me." Then, accept the ugly truth and work with it.

British people tend to have this obnoxious "politeness" that keeps them from addressing problems. Southern Europeans are more direct and confrontational. 

You are right there it is mentally tough and it's something that no one around me can appreciate. They don't see it as a big deal but then they all have friends and can talk to friends without anxiety, it's easy to look in from the outside and think it's not that bad.

I've always wanted friends but been too anxious to talk to people and make friends. Being autistic makes me socially awkward and has caused me social anxiety. I lack the social skills, my communication skills are so bad I would find it near impossible to talk to a parrot! 

Don't accept that you will never make friends because you don't know that for sure and it would be a shame to miss out if you hid away. Keep plucking away at it, you might meet your first friend today. There is always hope!

I know making friends can feel daunting, but some strategies can help. Firstly, consider joining groups or activities centred around your interests – it's a great way to meet like-minded individuals. Practice your social skills in a supportive environment, be patient with yourself, and remember, it's about quality over quantity.  And most importantly, be true to yourself. Genuine connections happen when you're authentic. You've got this!

It's a super sad situation, going through life like this.

It's a shame you couldn't stay in touch with jess. It's hard knowing if someone is or isn't a friend. I know making friends for me is probably impossible, so i just concentrate on the quality of the moments i have with others, which are rare.

I feel sorry for you, and for him.

It's a hopeless situation for me, but i hope you can find something for your son.

What is his personality like, what would he want in a friend, what kind of things is he interested in? Did he make friends ever before? Does he feel lonely?

I’m abit the same I have no friends as well, sadly I think it’s an autistic thing the difficulties we face, i had the problem what I thought were friends weren’t, I found out from leaving work that they weren’t just friends but were acquaintances none of them stayed in touch all distanced themselves. One girl I liked Jess she was cute, don’t feel bad about it your not alone kind regards 

Going through the same situation with my son, he struggles to talk to people he doesn't know. I've searched locally on F/B to no avail. No idea on how to find anyone locally he can meet up with, to try and help him make some friends. 

Going through the same situation with my son. I've searched locally on F/B to no avail. No idea on how to find local groups or people he can connect with

I'm hopeful that forums like this are a good place to start. Keep an open mind, and remember that just how you wish other people would see that you're in there, someone worse off than you wants to be seen as well. It's certainly a great principle of faith to care for those whom you see as disadvantaged, and you may be surprised that it's a two way street, and that their trials cultivate an inner beauty you cannot anticipate.

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Yeh you’re totally right bro. It is demoralising. But I bet you and I are lucky in other ways. We’re still young and got tons of time to build lives for ourselves. Keep at it I bet there’s friends out there for both of us. 

I think masking mostly is what's got me through so far and what got me through school. It goes ok but generally I don't do much social interacting, not unless I absolutely have to anyway. I'm still trying to find new ways of being better socially, I listen to what other people say and how they talk and I'm trying to mimic that.

How did manage to get through uni in the awkward atmosphere you describe? When you try to make friends, and break the proverbial ice, how does it go?

I just meant I SHOULD have it ,I n the sense   would really like to have it/ really desire it  

I mean I  w ould really like to have it  ,

Because I haven't had it-haven't had it all the time I was growing up ,through the time I was a teenager ,going through the growing up period-a time when people seek out the company of other people their own age who are going through the same experience i e. adolescence ,

and have really felt the yearning of late 

I mean that I lately felt I hadn't emotionally developed much ,at The age of thirty one ,de to the autism aspergers syndrome .,which stunted my mental/emotional development ,and so felt a great yearning lately lately for the emotional depth that adults of this age have ,

Have gone through my teenage years ,and my adult years so far w,ithuot that depth of emotion that adults have and hav 

It would be good to be around adults who are emotionally fully healthy and developed ,would find it interesting ,would like to find out what that emotional life would be like otionallife would be like ,would like to experience it 

Yes just feel within me ,that that sort of an emotional life ,fully adult emotional life ,is past it's due ,yes I feel that it's overdue, past it's due ,past it's due date within me ,

it's that yearning for a nadult emotional life ,that has caused the cells in the brain to be crying out calling out for it recently ,in me ,unable to stand the mental stagnation ,my brain being the brain of a 31-year old and needing the emotional experience of a 31 year old ,but unable to get it because of the apegsrers syndrome ,stopping the brain from developing mentally/emotionally .i hope this clears up your answer-gives you a answer?

 Hope I can get better ,start to develop emotionally-mentally in the future at some point .overcome the apesregrse and start to live a normal life for a 31 yaer odl

I relate with this a lot. I've always loved the idea of having friends, a single friend would do but I've never been able to... In fact at times I feel incapable of making friends. I've studied how to make friends, ready up so much and it's never worked. I literally have no idea how to make friends or even talk to people without being socially awkward.

Being social makes me so anxious and uncomfortable, I think it puts people off me before they even get to know me.

I was at uni last year and there was such an uncomfortable atmosphere with my roomie.

Your story is relatable, I'm sorry to hear that:( 

It is so demoralizing, when you see guys as the same age as yourself, perhaps from similar background or not, making those friends and spending great moments with each other, that they will remember. It's a mentally very tough thing to not have that. Even people like ourselves need connections and friends, and quality ones at that. I don't usually cry, it's just feelings of despair that have eroded into my psyche permanently, forever negatively affecting the quality of my life

Best of luck bro making friends. I’m 23 and like you just can’t seem to find anyone. I don’t know why I can’t find anyone. A lot of the boys my age I meet already have their own friend group from school that they made and don’t really need another friend like me. I was actually crying about this last night for a few hours wishing things were different. It’s hard not to be bitter at times but we’ve gotta keep fighting. If you have to cry don’t be afraid to cry just let it out. Better than keeping your anger all balled up.

I really hope it gets better for you! Thank you! What was the feeling like of " should have had" those contacts and connections? Do you have a significant other or something along these lines?

A ,tell me about it

I feel like I SHOULD have had human contact with people of my own age ,up until now-you know what I mean? Feel like I SHOULD Have it Now ,at this very moment ,day in d,ay o,u.t, company of people my own age ,people I can relate to ,since I'm 31 and I should be AROUND people who are 31 / of that age/of that age group ,people who I can relate to .as I've said ,since I m of the same age group as them ,and go through /going through  /am going through the same thing sas them 

Sorry if this is a bit long winded ,me reeling off my problems like this ,don't get the chance to talk about them often 

and instead I'm stuck on my bloody own-god it makes me want to cry just typing it -not cry but it makes my heart twinge .

Like I said every cell in the brain has been crying out for experience lately ,it's been painful to get through /awful ta git htruohg yeasf through yea very unpleasant to get through ,a 

n nny 

wa

yAnyway-hope I'll get better soon, hope against hope I'll get bette son, 

see you soo

n

Bye

Ah, i do hope it works out for you. Missing out and friends and connections year in, year out just takes a toll and has a huge psychological impact

Hope you make some friends soon fellah, and that they're the best friends you could ever wish for. To be perfectly honest ,myself ,I have never had a social life ,friends ,have felt a great yearning lately for the social life that I'm missing out on ,just like you fellah ,have really felt like I'm missing out o nit,/every cell in the brain crying out for experience ,the experience of a social life and friends ,that I should  've had so far, in my life ,have you felt something like this fellow? I hope you get friends soon ,that things improve for ya 

feels good to get all this out of my system ,i have to say 

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