Published on 12, July, 2020
Today was not a good day. I had a complete sensory meltdown in the street on the way to taking my son nursery whilst pushing a pram. I full on burst into tears so much that the teachers and the SENCO teacher came to help me whilst I was dropping my son off. They are aware that I have autism so it helped. I felt so embarrassed and I've spent all of my life masking to the point that I said sorry for crying and I was stupid. I burst into tears because the traffic was too loud, the sun was too bright and the snow/ice was crunching under my feet. I felt so disoriented.
Well it got worse this evening, I've never got upset when my children cry, but tonight I was triggered to the point I covered my ears with my hands rocking back and forth and I was hyper ventilating so much with how hard I was crying. My husband calmed me down as being neurodivergent himself he knows how to talk to me and help me.
I don't know why I was this bad today, it was horrible and I just feel like I want to hide in a comfy corner (corners of rooms are my favourite places to be) for the rest of the week.
I just wanted to share this because it just felt so horrible.
I'm really sorry to hear that you had such a challenging day. It sounds like you experienced sensory overload, which can be overwhelming for individuals with autism. It's important to acknowledge and express your feelings, and it's okay to seek support when needed.
It's positive that the teachers at your son's nursery are aware of your situation and were able to offer assistance. Having a supportive environment can make a significant difference.
Remember that self-care is crucial. If you find comfort in being in a corner of a room, taking some time for yourself in a quiet and comfortable space might help. Also, communicating with your husband about your feelings and needs is essential, as it seems he provides valuable support for you.
If these challenges persist or become more frequent, consider reaching out to a healthcare professional or counselor who can provide guidance and support. You're not alone, and there are resources available to help you navigate these difficult moments. Take care of yourself, and don't hesitate to ask for help when needed.
Hi,
What I've learnt recently is that some of my meltdowns are because of little triggers, one after the other that have built up. Some I'm aware of, and some I'm not. And then it can be the smallest of things, and I lose it.
I'm also learning not to give myself a hard time when I do have a meltdown. It's not something I chose to happen or feel that I have much control over.
I'm sorry for your struggle. Especially you having two in one day. I suspect that you'd barely got over the first one (if at all) before the next one appeared.
I read somewhere recently that we feel guilt more than most.
Try and be kind to yourself. I know that isn't always easy.
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