Today was not a good day. I had a complete sensory meltdown in the street on the way to taking my son nursery whilst pushing a pram. I full on burst into tears so much that the teachers and the SENCO teacher came to help me whilst I was dropping my son off. They are aware that I have autism so it helped. I felt so embarrassed and I've spent all of my life masking to the point that I said sorry for crying and I was stupid. I burst into tears because the traffic was too loud, the sun was too bright and the snow/ice was crunching under my feet. I felt so disoriented.
Well it got worse this evening, I've never got upset when my children cry, but tonight I was triggered to the point I covered my ears with my hands rocking back and forth and I was hyper ventilating so much with how hard I was crying. My husband calmed me down as being neurodivergent himself he knows how to talk to me and help me.
I don't know why I was this bad today, it was horrible and I just feel like I want to hide in a comfy corner (corners of rooms are my favourite places to be) for the rest of the week.
I just wanted to share this because it just felt so horrible.