Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I have done something I really shouldn’t have I don’t know what I thought I would achieve. Earlier on today I made a request under Claire’s law to have my boyfriend checked out. For those who don’t know what Claire’s law is well it is a law that came into place for a person to check if their partner has been convicted of any violence or abuse. I don’t know why I have done this I have been in an abusive relationship before with a neurotypical guy who was abusive towards me. I am now dating someone on the spectrum like me and I really want to learn to trust again. My boyfriend has never been violent or abusive towards me we had our arguments but that’s it. I have told him what I have done and he is upset with the fact I don’t trust him. I want to trust again and I regret doing what I’ve done how can I make things right again I hate the fact I have done this and hurt my boyfriend by doing this.
Rach91 said:I have told him what I have done and he is upset with the fact I don’t trust him
Red flag.
I’d imagine he is upset at the lack of trust, more than anything. I hope your relationship is able to overcome this issue. It’s completely understandable for you to have done what you did, in my opinion. Forgive yourself.
I have told him what I have done he very upset by it but understands. He told me about his past and he been in trouble but not for being violent.
I meant to type 100% there, but I’ll leave it incorrected as it accidentally hits upon something the hyper-vigilant among us need. Ideally (if improbably). Certainty plus!
You’ve been through a trauma, of course you want to go from 99% that your partner is safe to 109%. On another day you might not have felt anxious enough to do so, but you did today and made use of a safe and legal way to eliminate a worst case scenario. I’m sure he’ll understand (if you choose to tell him), if not immediately then in time.
Stick-or-twist. It's hard to develop trust, after betrayal. But we can't read minds.
Take time to yourself. Don't beat yourself up.
Dont be hard on yourself, sometimes we just need to know. Hopefully now you know, you will feel better and hopefully your boyfriend will understand that its nit that you dont trust him, sometimes we feel compelled to do something to ease our mind x