Published on 12, July, 2020
My Autistic son ,works, started uni through work and drives,but like so many kids today spends all his spare time alone on his pc in his room.He has no friends and he is in denial ,he asked to be retested then changed his mind,we believe to prevent him from hearing again that he has Autism. He is now 20 and it is harder than ever to talk to him as he just grunts his answer back and have to ask him to repeat it which, again frustrates him.When listening to him play his pc his clarity in speech is frightening and so I ask the question "is it just myself and my wife" we got him to join a club where other Autistic people meet and he hated that and never went back.if only he would embrace his autism I think he would be a much happier boy,if there any advice out there I would appreciate anything and Thanks in advance.possible specialist that could maybe make him understand about himself. Sorry for rambling on ,just a worried and concerned Dad grasping for any positives
Thank you once again
You need to put yourself in his shoes. My son diagnosed at 18 he 24 now and it took him 5 rys before he would accept ie he was in denial for around five yr...we only just started discussing it and it wasn't pretty ..in fact he even tried or came close to suicide he was drinking a lot too...I stopped the alcohol and we had many Frank conversations....the point am trying to make here is that maybe you don't realise how bad it feels for him.and coming to terms with it as don't forget parts of being autistic are things like finding it hard to know your own feelings let alone deal with them . It's tough I know as you want them to be happy and we are none of us trained professionally in dealing with autism we r just parents and as such are often out of our depths and don't know what to do. My best advice would be o take it very slow with him ...I found I was less painful for my son to talk about when I tried to casualy mention other people with autism who are great like anthony Hopkins Dan Aykroyd etc et .and mentioned good role models on you tube etc you know people his own age. He must be suffering terribly as he is probably lonely and has.no one to talk to like him.his age going thru wht he's going thru. All you can do is take it gently and just support him be patient..and if you can afford it look for maybe some therapist for him Also be aware that going to uni isn't just hard like it is for someone else ie other kids who don't have Autism..ie for your son everything is five times harder.
Thank you for the advice.and I will definitely take on board what you have said ,while reading your reply I realise that I will have to slow things down from my side He has admitted that he has done things to please us ie go to an autistic group , martial arts all things that I now feel I pushed him into all the advice I'm getting from parents and people on the spectrum is take your time ssupport t him abd be there.i thought I had but maybe not in the way he needs.so let me finish with a Thank you,hopefully I have learned a little bit