Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I'm mum and I'm allistic and my son is autistic. We had a Frank and sobering conversation today which shocked and saddened me but I'm glad in a way as I'm glad my son was honest with me..he told me in not so many words he'd rather not be alive due to his Autism as in life the one things he feels that matters the most is the emotional side of things which he can't have ie he was upset that he can't even experience those loving interactions that most neuro typical people take for granted..he basically feels very alone. I feel very sad for him and its frustrating as a mum who loves him very much that there is nothing I can do for him. So this is why I have come on here to ask the question of ..is there happiness to be had in this life when you have Autism? He works hard at fending off the depression that he feels as a result of Autism (ie not clinical depression) he exercises as he says that helps his mental state and he tries to eat right and he has stopped drinking alcohol all together. He doesn't feel enthusiastic about getting outside and doing anything as he says it won't make him any happier if he does interact with people even if he took meds to deal with anxiety etc he doesn't see the point.
i dont think so.... can you even define happiness? it might not really exist.... if he gets a relationship and social interaction and love how sure is he that he will then be satisfied? he might still feel that void, that pointlessness and sadness... this is why pursuing happiness is a endless chase and youd never actually catch it as its always running ahead of you. because perhaps happiness just doesnt exist. we are creatures made to be always discontent and striving for better, for more. that is how we advanced as a species.
i think buddhism also touchs on stuff like this and acknowledges the lie of chasing happiness, that instead you have to look inward, you already have it in the present if it exists. its within not without, true happiness is with you even if you cast aside all material belongings and social status, even if you are in prison.