Hi everyone,
Great to be here. I need a little help with an aspy I care about a lot. My nieces have ASD and they use the term aspy to describe themselves. I am NT, but an a quiet, introvert, geeky type. So special interests in science tend to gel well with me :)
I met him in an internet forum, we connected quickly and have many of the same interests. He is amazing. Smart, deep thinker, handsome, great body, funny, hard working, great values. We took things offline and he told me he had asd. He felt he could trust me with it.
I have checked in with him about his spoon levels. He told he would let me know if he was getting to his limit. He says he manages all of this well. I can be intense. He has had a lot on recently and works a lot. Like 60+ hours a week. Since we moved to connect more directly he leaves 12+ hours between responding to my messages.
I take a direct route if I am not sure how he is responding which he appreciates. One of things that attracts me to people with asd is that they are unflinchingly honest and so I find that much easier to trust. I don’t like to be told what I want to hear. I much prefer the truth. I didn’t realise this about myself until he pointed out. My biggest crush is Elon musk. So if you are aspy and reading this- I wanted you to know us NT’s can really appreciate this trait in a potential partner.
I have been clear about my interest in him. Our flirting is great. He’s experienced in the bedroom and in relationships. But I don’t know if he’s attracted to me at all. He strikes me as someone who goes after what he wants. And doesn’t mind making moves.
Anyway he has stopped responding to my messages. Our last exchange was … intimate. We agreed an exchange of adult teasing material. That was about 3 days ago now. I asked a question. He’s looked but not responded.
Since he told me about the asd, He doesn’t ask me many questions about me. Whereas he did before and I see this was probably masking. Though he says he likes it when I ask questions about him. He said he likes feeling my interest in him. So we recently played a game of 40 get to know you questions. He liked this. But Of the 30 we got through he only asked me 2 back.
It is so hard to know if he likes me at all. Or if he’s just another guy looking for a better offer * eye roll*.
I am really upset he’s withdrawn. I don’t share easily. I don’t know if I can say anything to him. I’m afraid he will say “ I don’t owe you anything” it’s just hard to connect, as you guys will appreciate, so when I find it. I want to explore it. He said he did too.
any advice is welcome.