I never know if I'm doing 'enough'.

Thanks for that and totally get that. When I was employed a long time ago that’s exactly what I did. I got walked all over as the expectation was so great but I had already set that bar too high. I wish I had known these things before I started working. 

i wouldnt work hard.... i did at first by default as by default i can only do my best. but yeah, your workplace wont notice and will insult you eventually and you will regret working your best, plus if you start at the top then you are expected to remain the best and that is taken for granted. you should start at your least effort so that when you increase your effort it can be seen as a improvement from when you started, if you start at maximum effort your employer will only expect that and then be disappointed if they dont get that and yet never reward that as they got it in the first place so theyd take it for granted and yet never reward it despite being better than 5 other workers combined... then you get annoyed and lower it and they will think your playing with them... so its best to start at your lowest capability always... it sounds bad, but when you start at your lowest then your best isnt taken for granted and you are not trodden on... dont be like me, your best at default, you get really tread on and hurt that way and never rewarded for being better than anyone, you just get punished. start mediocre, then show them your worth later on so then they see it as a improvement.... never start at your best or do best by default, that is what i have learned.

The money thing doesn’t really matter to me tbh. I don’t think any amount would make up for what it actually costs me. 
Think a good routine rather than a bad one is probably what’s required. Working for yourself does have its benefits I suppose…. I get time alone which suits me sometimes. I’m complaining but I wouldn’t change what I do. 

I think it would be hard to change a habit of a lifetime and as you say, just do enough, when our enough has always been more.

About prioritising time, one positive thing i was consistent with was finishing work on time at the end of the day, as soon as it was 5pm, that was it. I realised what needed doing could wait until tomorrow, but i didnt work for myself like you. 

If you have happy customers, and in recognision your perfectionism, have you considered increasing your charges? X

Totally relate to that post. That is me in every way. I have ocd also. My time management is awful, my priorities seem to be whatever I’m focused on at the time which then leads to panic because there are important things that actually need your attention. Going over and above like Tulip said and will never ask for help with anything, think that is because I don’t trust anyone would be able to do that task as well as I can. I work for myself and on my own but struggle as I won’t ask for help and don’t make anywhere near what I should (money) because of my obsession with perfection. The only positive I get from being this way is that I walk away knowing I did my absolute best and have a lot of very happy customers. That’s nice to know but I’m just pleasing everyone else. 
The problem with me discovering I’m asd is that now I realise this it is highlighting everything and making me feel worse atm. I’ve managed for 49 yrs and now I’m telling myself it’s okay to feel exhausted first thing in the morning. I am hoping this gets easier as I start to understand myself a little more? 
It would be nice to have a strategy in place to either do just enough or at least prioritise and manage my time better. Now I’ve highlighted it I just can’t get it out of my mind now. Any positive or reassuring advice would be really appreciated. Just read through the message and realise how negative this is. Sorry. I’m at my worst in the mornings. 

That makes sense to me. I didnt know either, so to prove i was good enough, i have always put 150% in order to limit any negative feedback. That has been exhausting. So what i find now, is that i am a perfectionist, and find things to do/that need doing that others dont. I have raised my bar high and i have been very tired as a result. But this how i learned as a young person. One employer said that i work to my own high standards. 

I never thought of it as an autistic "thing", but it makes sense to me. 

In social situations in the past, i would go over and above what others would do. 

Relationships, always give it my all. Then learn that not everyone is like that. Maybe i have given myself a hard time. I have never looked at it in this way before, so thank you for helping me understand why. 

As for time, yes, managing my time is imperative, what should i do? I dont just let it flow. Or maybe we looking too deep into it? 

At 20 and recognising this, is hopefully to your advantage. But i still dont know how good is good. I say, be the best that you can be. I think it goes deeper than self esteem x

I also used struggle with feeling like I'm not doing enough compared to my peers whether that be socially, with work, or academically. I'm still at university finishing my first degree. Whereas the people I went to school with are either married/getting married, have a family, finishing their post-graduate degrees, working their way up the career ladder or travelling a lot. But these people aren't neurodivergent, I think a few have ADHD but they seem to be doing okay, my judgement is they're doing better than what I'm doing. But this is all from social media, where people make their lives look a lot better than what it could be by just showing the good bits. We only get a snapshot into the lives we are comparing our owns with. 

I think as I got older I started to not care what others were doing, especially after my diagnosis. I'm 25 now, and I remember when I was 20/21 comparing myself to others really bothered me. I think at that time of my life I felt out of control, I had just started my university degree then and I had to leave at the end of the first semester for some time out. I was burnt out. Didn't know if I wanted to continue with the degree or switch. I had no idea what I wanted to do in the future. There was a lot of unknowns, and comparing myself to the people I grew up with at that time they were in their final year at university or half-way through it already. 

The thing I have issues with now is trying to work out how much time to work on something, like an assignment, because I spend way too long on one thing trying to get it perfect. So when I have multiple things to do at once, I often have to extend my deadlines because I tend to do one thing and forget about the rest until it's done. I also wish I had a personal assistant that helped me efficiently plan my time, decide how much time to dedicate to a task (for example I'll spend a week doing something that should have just been a days worth of work).

I think we tend to forget that doing "normal" stuff takes a lot more energy than it may with NT people. Such as dating, parties and travelling (anything else similar) it takes a lot out of us, there's the social aspect but also with travelling (regardless of journey time) it's so stressful and it can take us longer to recover from this than others. I find that when I'm burnt out, I struggle to even spend time doing things I like, such as playing video games or reading. In fact I haven't read a book for over 6 months now due to it. The time it takes to recover from burnout can be from days to years.  

I'll stop here as I've written quite the essay, and I'm not entirely sure it's relevant but hopefully brings comfort to you. Just know that there is no correct way to spend your time. Take life at the pace you're most comfortable at, not the pace you feel pressured to take.

Magpie said:

worry that I do the same, or the opposite - that I'm not doing nearly enough.

In social interactions, we often have to cognitively process things that other people are able to do intuitively. This takes extra processing.  In our environment we can't filter stuff out that other people can. This can overload our brains. So by this reasoning, you're probably already doing more than other people around you.

Magpie said:

I've been learning to accept that I simply don't have as much energy as my peers.

I always kind of knew this but still pushed through bevause I didn't know any differently. As anadult nearly twice yourage who only "found out" a few years ago, this approach has led to burnout and health problems.  Believe it or not you are still young and have plenty of time to find out what works for you. I'm sure as you grow,  you'll learn not to compare yourself to others. You are coming from a different starting point / baseline than a lot of other people.

Peace out.

Ignore the preacher above, "god" has nothing to do with your career. Instead, focus on what works for you - yes, it's inevitable you won't have the same level of energy as many of your neurotypical colleagues. It's unfortunate, but once you acknowledge that you can accept the career trajectory for you. But you'll probably find a lot of them are hepped up on coffee and energy drinks anyway and a lot of what they do is just part of the Extrovert Ideal (as discussed on another thread).

Sadly, the job market is horrific right now.

Not just based on world events, but the failures of capitalism over the last 15 years have ensured it. Alongside various governments who've failed to create a thriving economy.

You're only 20!

You've done very well to get into work, a lot of autistic people struggle. So focus on that achievement so far and take it from there. The job market should pick up in a few years, too (once the Tories are gone, hopefully).

Don't be afraid to push yourself a little here and there, too, as you'll be surprised what you can achieve.

Ie our mind always convinces us we're not doing enough.

The way to counteract is through praising oneself, and giving the Credit to God. 

It's a Roman Senate, in your head, which seeks to stab you.