Published on 12, July, 2020
Any one else who was diagnosed later in life feel embarrassed by having an ASD label? When I first found out I guess I was relieved. Then after telling a few acquaintances and getting various responses I decided to stop telling anyone for a while. Where as now it seems that everyone and his (her or whatever) wife are either diagnosed or looking to get diagnosed. So now I feel like if ever I share that I am ASD people will think oh, another one *rolleyes*. I guess part of it is also how people perceive autism too, as an example stimming. I only have very mild stims that I wouldn’t ever do in front of anyone else because of the embarrassment. But I wouldn’t want anyone to think I full on stim as shown in the recent Chris Packham episodes. It’s as if I feel like being autistic makes me less of a person.
This post is purely for discussion and not meant to offend anyone (which seems pretty easy to do these days).
Hi Briar,
I honestly loved reading this post - you have managed to put into words exactly how I have been feeling, but you are just a million times more articulate than me.
I have only told very close friends or my immediate family and in 90% of the cases the reaction was pretty neutral, which I expected (eg. wasn't expecting shock and/or a fanfare).
One very close friend I told I knew would be a risk to tell took it as expected, she said all the right things as if she was accepting this news, but I could hear behind her voice/see in her face that she was skeptical. She is a bit that type of person where they don't believe really in diagnoses and/or labels of things. She has this privilege since she's never had anything worse than a cold so can't imagine how it might be to be different or less able.
I am also going late & recently diagnosed and am staying fairly guarded about sharing this too freely for fear what the reaction may be. I have just finished a 10 week coaching course with an autistic life coach (very highly recommend BTW) and he's taught me so much about unmasking and accepting the shame I feel. Also unlearning 35 years of ableism. It's a work in progress but I am slowly getting the hang of a few things.
Hi Auturmn_Trees,
How did you find your coach? It’s something I’ve been considering instead of my therapist who is nice but can’t help. I’ve looked online and a lot of coaches look pretty unqualified to me.
Hi Amerantin - how's it going? I just did a fair bit of googling around and searches, looking at reviews, looking at people's details eg. if we are from a similar culture, what their gender is (and if I will feel comfortable), what our time zones are like, etc.
I instantly liked and clicked with the guy I used (I would post it here but I am scared I'll get in trouble for mods thinking I'm advertising! LOL) - personality wise, belief wise, etc. He is registered with a life coaching board but I think when it comes to this subject, qualifications for me are not crucial. The fact I can talk to someone who is, and has always been autistic, then has made knowing about it, talking about and advocating for it their lives work - they're good enough for me.
He is also very generous with his time outside of sessions (eg, DM's on social, or whatsapps, etc) and seems to genuinely care about the people he coaches.
I think I may have identified the person you’re talking about. Thanks!
DM if you can and I'll send you his link. He's based in Paris but from America via Israel.