Published on 12, July, 2020
My neighbour 2 doors down has just put her house up for sale and this is causing me to feel unsettled. I'm anxious about who will move in, what will they be like, will they be noisy. I know everyone wonders this when they get new neighbours but it's causing me to become anxious and interfering in my life. Also the path outside my house has been dug up for city fibre and the new line on tarmac all the way down the path is different to how our path normally looks which makes me feel a little strange. I think because it looks different I dont know. I always get very anxious when things around me change
What DO you have control over? This is always important. The world around is in a constant state of flux and while non-autistics might appear to just float through life not noticing all the micro-details of change, to some degree or another, we will all feel it. The only solution is by learning to separate what I can take control of and what I can't.
Sometimes, it's also important to just allow oneself to indulge in things which provide a sense of grounding or even a sense of small luxury. However, there are also times where getting started in something which 'feeds the soul' and be difficult, whether reading or drawing or another form of creative investment. If you haven't really found a thing which you enjoy, perhaps finding it can be a new hyper-focus?
I don't have any coping mechanisms, all I can do is repeat my concerns to my other half or my parents over and over again to get reassurance. I know this drives them mad but I have to do it
Fear always grips us.
The 'What ifs' unnerve, big time.
What coping mechanisms do you have?
Change does tend to be difficult for people with ASD - me included.I know its easier said than done, but try to flip your thinking on its head.Instead of being anxious about your new neighbour, try to think of the potential positives.Your new neighbour could turn out to be a great person, a friend, maybe an ND, etc.
In my situation, we moved in over 20 years ago and we lived next door to an older couple who we got on great with.One of them died a few years back and the other moved away to be closed to family.The new neighbours were a young couple - they were very friendly, but also a bit clueless.Well, they separated earlier this year and the guy remained, but it had been so frustrating - the garden is unkempt, the bins are left out all week, there are tall weeds out back by the block of garages.
Fortunately the house has been sold and we are so excited and looking forward to our new neighbours - hopefully they will move in soon!
Sorry, I digressed a little there...oops!
I can relate to the tarmac thing. We have a path out front and its a patchwork of different coloured tarmac, because we've had Thames Water, Virgin and BT all digging their own little trenches (not to mention the different coloured spray paints to mark out areas). I guess that it doesn't help with the way that we think - patterns, regularity, etc.