Referral Form

I’m recently diagnosed at 32. My sister completed the section of the form. She noticed a lot more than my parents did growing up and viewed it as ‘that’s just you’ as we didn’t know the word autistic. 

I found that although the checklists were clinical my actual diagnostic interview was very considerate of masking and there was a lot of questions about this. 

Parents can be reluctant to admit that something is 'wrong' with their child. They can become defensive, thinking that it is a reflection on their ability as parents. Make sure that you tell your mum that you being autistic has absolutely nothing to do with her abilities as a parent and everything to do with the wiring of your brain. Telling parents that famous people like Anthony Hopkins, Elon Musk (the richest person on the planet), Daryl Hannah etc are autistic and that Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin, Mozart and Picasso were probably autistic, sometimes helps.

I was 50 when I was diagnosed and my mum was 84. (Sadly my dad died a couple of years before I was diagnosed or they could have diagnosed him at the same time as they diagnosed me.) In my case neither my mum or I could provide sufficient evidence of autism in childhood but because I met all their other diagnostic criteria they decided to ignore the lack of evidence in childhood and diagnosed me anyway.

If the form is the same one my mum filled out I think some of the questions specifically asked about what I was like at aged 2 or 3. In the telephone interview my mum was asked a lot about what I was like in the pre school years. I think they like to focus on as early as possible for the relatives questionnaire.

My mum wasn't really asked about what I was like during my teenage years but I was asked some questions about that time during one of my diagnostic interviews.

There was a question at the end of the relatives questionnaire asking if concerns had been raised by teachers / health visitors. I guess anything that was on your school reports could be added there.

If you think that your mum is not likely to be supportive then it may be well worth considering the option not to complete that part of the form. There was a post on here recently regarding a bad experience of the process.

https://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum/33872/mum-lied-on-my-adi-r

Oh thank you that is good to know.

My mum is not very supportive of the idea. She is saying "you were very sociable and made eye contact. Yes you exclusivley talked about the opera "The Magic Flute" and made children at nursery reenact it but that is normal. You had friends, you just did not like socialising but that is who you are. You never WANTED to fit in...."

I might annotate the form. I tried adding school reports but at this point I was told they are irrelevant. Tempted to leave that part of the form out, apparently it is optional?

The diagnostic criteria ask for evidence of traits in early childhood. As I was 59 when diagnosed, both my parents were sadly deceased and I only had one very frail aunt in her 90's, I had no one to verify my childhood autistic characteristics.  I said that on starting school at  four and a half I was selectively mute for three months. This was sufficient proof of early autistic traits. I don't think that the clinicians who assess for autism diagnosis require 'court of law' levels of proof, they just need some indication that your traits go back to childhood.

It is a feature of some autists that their autistic traits do not become apparent until their ability to cope with social pressures are exceeded. I was a happy and contented child at home, my speech was early, no delay, but being confronted by a classroom full of other children and strange authority figures in the form of teachers, was obviously far to much for me to cope with, hence the mutism. So the age of onset of noticeable autistic traits can vary between autistic children.