Published on 12, July, 2020
It's a constant feeling I've had since I was a teenager. I'm not just talking about lack of success in the friend department but in terms of general life achievements.
I generally don't recognise my achievements cos I think they're not as good as what other people have done. While I have worked on a TV programme and had a credit (on screen), I know people who have gone on to work on films or people who seem to really be hyped up by those around them.
I've always felt indifferent, insignificant and unremarkable and there's a general feeling that no one would miss me if I was gone. More so now after the last 5 months (where I've had no support network at all). I feel it should spur me on to do more but it doesn't. It feels like every good thing I've ever done means nothing because of the big bad thing I did and I do believe I am a bad person.
I often feel like if the thing I do isn't outwardly, it doesn't count. If I was an impressive singer, I think I'd be more appreciated than something which probably means nothing to people (the TV stuff) or having climbed Mount Snowdon.
I'm really sorry to bring the mood down as I try and avoid doing that on here. It has just been a bit difficult.
everyone climbs mount snowdon now.... theres a massive que for it when you go lolits nowhere near as impressive or remarkable and unique of being credited in a tv programme.everyone has climbed mount snowdon, not everyone ever gets on the tv.
I did the last half on my own. but that's the thing. Does it only count as an achievement if I'm only one of a small number of people to have done it?
im not sure to be honest.sometimes a achievement can likely be a rare thing that you can say you have done that not many have done.or it can also be a thing that was really hard and took effort to do regardless if many others have done it.so i guess rarity, and effort are both relevant in judging for achievement.
but then again most wouldnt care and their main achievement theyd want is to make a life in which they are happy. such as somehow moving and living in a nice scenic place, like the lake district or cornwall, and living among the nice green pleasant scenery, with lakes or sea access, feeling like life is like a holiday. that id say would be a lifelong achievement as many never get that, we are all stuck in horrible urban slums and ugly areas.