Published on 12, July, 2020
What has helped you?
Age? I'm 26 but I feel older and younger at the same time.
I want to go back to how I was prior to my teenage years. I've internalised a lot of not very nice things. I'm working through it in therapy.
It's weird. I don't care what people think about my (somewhat uncool) interests but I do care what they think about my appearance and personality.
I do want people to like me but I will admit to taking that and running a mile.
HMO said:I'm 26 but I feel older and younger at the same time.
HMO said:I want to go back to how I was prior to my teenage years. I've internalised a lot of not very nice things.
It's a funny coincidence I Sperg said something about his twenties being not very pleasant just the other day and I thought, odd, that was me too. But then I realised it's probably a very common experience for us autistic folk actually because we have extra issues on top of the other things I think it contributes to us struggling to find our feet in the adult world that bit longer than most neurotypicals.
Yeah, I don't think I ever found my feet and I don't know if I will. I'm only just getting round to processing it and a horrible thing had to happen first.
It's weird because I feel like a child with the amount of help I need but I used to think I was more grown up than my peers at 16/17 at sixth form because I was just knuckling down and working (and struggling!).
I think as awful as it is right now eventualy you will come out the otherside stronger and wiser, I don't know if you like metaphors but I find they help me explain things and my experiece taught me that altough it took a lot of time, once I learned to weather the storms of life I could start to learn to sail in them. It's still a journey obvs, but it does get better. And I know it's hard when you lose friends, and it's difficult to make them as you get older, but it's not impossible if you stay open to growing and meeting new people.
I hope so. Metaphors are alright as long as I can extract some meaning.
I think I'm still grieving and probably will be for a while, but I'm using the time to adjust to my own company and sort myself out.