Looking for a penpal [or advice on friendships]

Hello Libby,

My name is Scott and I also struggle to make friends. I am only currently in infrequent contact with people I went to in junior school. Mainly for me, it is a issue of trust that I developed in high school even though I am now 28.

Anyone who is creative is always welcome on here, as it shows that they are not afraid to express their individuality.

I'm a bit of a nerd, as I tend to collect all sorts of random facts and figures in my mind.

Yeah it is difficult when you don't have the confidence. I mean i'm saying this but I know in myself i too don't have the confidence like that. Not yet anyway, but it's a skill we work on.

I'd be open to be a penpal if you'd like. I'm a bit nerdy myself, specifically enjoy dr who and some marvel (though kind of dropped off marvel as of late, theres so much content its hard to keep up). I also like to hike and be in nature as much as I can. 

I've been doing photography since I was 7 years old and self taught. Did do some workshops about photography. Advice is to join your local library and borrow books about different types of cameras. Unfortunately instant cameras are discontinued (I did this at first to see if I like it); hope this helps you. I've seen cameras in charity shops. Magazines are expensive. 

Mine is a Panasonic compact camera. Do you have a camera shop nearby? You can talk to them and see what camera works for you and budget.

Morning Libs.

May I suggest that you hang around in this forum - all over the various threads and pages that interest you - because I have found MORE than enough connection and correspondence joy with "my type of people" here.

I feel like I have found a whole community of pen pals here, and now that I "know" and am "known" by a collection of core contributors here, I feel like I have acquired some very real friends too.  It's great!

There are worse places to be Libs.  Have a great Monday.  Kind regards

Number.

I'm actually trying to save up for a camera to get into proper photography instead of taking pictures on my phone. I'm pretty game for anything creative but the main thing I do is doodle.

My love of Lord of the Rings is the main reason why it's my username but I am also short and have been called a hobbit all my life. I'm 5'2. 

Also I just like the way the hobbits live. They're so at peace.

I'd prefer real friends too but my mum suggest penpals first before I try going out and meeting new people.

Unfortunately, I live in England, not Scotland.

awww. Thank You so much for this. And what you said really about the expectations about being in your early 20s is way too true. 

I would try and be a kind stranger but I am so painfully awkward and I think I would just embarrass myself honestly. Maybe I'll try if I get a boost of confidence or something.

I will think about what you said though. Take care!

Yes, I should have guessed given your profile name. Is that the only reason for your profile name or are you also height challenged or whatever the pc way of putting it these days is?

Hello, 

I'm in a similar situation to you. I've recently came out of a long term relationship and have found myself with no friendships outside of the relationship. It's crushingly lonely. Especially being in your early 20's (i'm 23 as well) it feels like there is an expectation that this is the time when you should be out making 'mistakes' with a large group of friends or whatever. I never understood this societal view, I'd be happy with a small group of close friends that you can feel comfortable with. 

I recently asked my own mum for advice on how to make friends, she said the following: "to make friends you need to be a good friend". It resonated with me. If you come at an social interaction from a place of being a good friend (or simply a kind stranger) then i suppose it'll give the other person permission to be themselves and show you themselves. From this, you can gauge if theyre someone that you'd like to pursue a friendship with, or if you like them at all. But it is difficult, to make that first social contact, to know what the hell to do or how to act. But i think, from my point of view, im going to try the "just be kind, and be a good friend" approach.

Anyway, I hope some of that helps or makes any sense at all. It's a scary, confusing and lonely world, but you're never as alone as you feel in the worst moments. 

Take care,

Euan

I will reading anything really but my go-to genre is fantasy as well fairytales and mythology retellings.

What do you like reading?

One of my local towns has a games cafe called The Nerdy.

Where do you live? If you're in Scotland, I'd like to be friends with you. I'd prefer real friends rather than just pen-friends though.

My advice is to e-mail Mark, and get to know him, because he's possibly the nicest bloke in the whole world and is always looking for new friends. I hope that advice is helpful.

Some of my friends have vanished and finding it difficult to make new friends.

I enjoy reading, photography, listening to music and radio. What creative stuff you do?

Prefer to be in touch on the forum.

Making friends is so hard as an adult! I’m finding myself very lonely lately and have really been struggling with my mental health

In terms of advice, I'll try and give something you can take away with you.

It's hard because I suppose we can be too trusting and that gets us into uncomfortable situations. As a result we may not realise if a situation is actually comfortable and we are able to let our guard down.

In terms of what worked for me, I tended to connect with people online. Starting with common interests is a start (I'm into pop music and British comedy) and then it's gauging whether the two of you gel.

If it's right, having a conversation with that person shouldn't be difficult nor should it drain you. I would encourage you to be open although I have struggled myself with oversharing and coming on too strong. I mention I'm autistic fairly early on (if they don't know already) as a means of managing expectations.

As long as you're clearly aware of what you want out of friendship, I think you're on the right track.