Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I am a step-mum to 8-year-old boy/girl twins. My partner who is their father and their mum believe that they both display some signs of ASD and the girl potentially ADHD as a co-occurring condition. We have a GP appointment booked for later next month but can not agree on whether the children should be present for the initial appointment to talk to the GP about our concerns and the symptoms we have all witnessed.
I know they should be involved if it goes further and have a right to be part of the conversations regarding their care, but my partner and I feel that for the first appointment, it should be the adults and to get guidance from the GP in the first instance, and not to have the children in earshot as it could upset them.
My question is not to undermine Mum, I would like to know so we can do what is best for the children. If that is taking them along, great we will do it. I am after some guidance and maybe other people's experiences on this, please.
Thanks in advance.
Thank you.
We were just worried about the actual first conversations with the GP and our observations and concerns etc,
We fully expected a 2nd GP visit with the children for the doctor to see them. The GP has been their GP since birth.How did you approach it with your child? if you do not mind me asking?
The children are aware of the appointment and are upset that something is wrong with them! which is 100% not the case, if they have ASD they just see the world differently.
Thank you, the receptionist said she was not sure, and that she would get the GP to call.
The GP has known them since they were babies, but would not have seen any of the observations we have seen.
We are just concerned about upsetting the children unnecessarily at this point. They are aware we have the appointment, the concern is them hearing us talk about it beforehand. We wanted to get the doctor's view and our understanding was that a 2nd appointment would be made for the children to be there at that point.
Why not ask the surgery whether they need to see the children? Personally I’d be surprised if the GP would be prepared to refer the children without seeing them unless the GP already knows them well which is unlikely these days. (GPS are effectively gatekeepers but they need to be able to justify referrals - they won’t or shouldn’t refer someone just because they are asked to.)
I took my child. I didn't think you would get a referral without the child being present, but someone else may say this is not the case.
Any guidance for or against would be appreciated, we are a good family unit and all want what is best for the children.