Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, I would really appreciate any advice you have. My partner has never been diagnosed formally with aspergers but when he visited the GP it seemed very likely he has traits of this. We have been together for 10 years and I love him dearly. We are due to marry next year but I am having doubts. I have done a lot of research regarding aspergers and I have been trying to find him employment support as he really struggles mixing with others and wants a work from home job. However, our relationship has been very stressful at times and he has got into a lot of debt (which he has now paid off) and I worry about getting married and trusting he will pay the bills and not get into debt again. He becomes very frustrated easily when I ask him how his day at work was and starts head banging and the other day he smashed up his phone when he tried to transfer money to me and he forgot his pin number on online banking. He is on the waiting list for a formal diagnosis but does anyone have suggestions on how I can support him or whether there are services that can help? As mentioned I love him very much but it is affecting me mentally and I also worry he will not find a job that suits him.
hes doing pretty good if he managed to get a partner, and if he managed to get a partner he must go out and socialise. which shows hes doing pretty fine despite possible asd as most on asd wont ever have a partner in their entire lives and would feel like its impossible to get a partner or go out or have any social circle or friends. and would then feel life is leaving them behind.so hes doing pretty well for himself anyway, i dunno what you can do to help, the only thing you can do is be there for him, which you are already doing and he probably loves you for it and appreciates it but likely wont be able to show that or express that and would feel perhaps unnapreciative or like a stoic stone wall, but under that hed likely really appreciate you being there for him.if anything in this case its perhaps you that may need the support if your finding it hard. your are his support, so he has you... but you need support. sometimes the support needs support. the support carrys alot of burden, the one your supporting may not feel that burden as thats his normal hes used to.
Hello Caelus, thank you for your supportive words and advice. I agree with you, I think I do need support and will look into this :)