Published on 12, July, 2020
Good morning everyone,
I would like to ask if some of you may have similar problem and may offer some advice/ tips about how to manage it.
I am a mum of 5 years old girl. She is just starting her year 1. I have huge, unbearable anxiety about school drop off and pick up. I have stomachaches, nausea, diarrhea and more. My daughter's school is quite big. It currently has 331 students and school run is something that makes me really ill every day. It's difficult for me because there is so many people there: children, their parents and often their siblings too. I just came out of crisis. Last year in around April time I had to put my daughter to childminder setting in the morning and after school to bring my stress level down. It was expensive and also it's not available now because the childminder can't do it anymore ( her daughter just started different school and she can't offer my daughter drop offs and pick ups anymore). When I was in crisis from about May, I struggled to even drop my daughter off to childminder and pick her up.The childminder was closed for 2 weeks because she gave a birth to her baby son. School have been so brilliant to come and pick my daughter up and drop her off last week of school every day. Also my daughter's teacher and classroom has changed which gives me additional anxiety. Please does any of you have similar experience? How do you cope?
Any advice will be very much appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
Nana1318 said:I thought about talking to school if I can possibly be late like 10 minutes for example if she starts 8:45 can I be 8:55 so most of parents are gone by then and same with pick up if I have to take her 3:15 can I be 3:25 but I just can't do it. I struggle to talk. They were so kind anyway they came forward and took her to school and back last year for whole week when I was in crisis.
Delaying by 10 minutes can make a huge difference to the experience. When I was at secondary school I used to find the noise and crowds unbearable and would deliberately hang back until they had dispersed before I entered the school gates. Of course at the time I didn't know I was autistic and I would end up in detention for being late most days. I didn't mind that punishment, as being in detention meant I could also escape the unbearable noise and crowds at the end of the school day.
I agree with the above, to email or write to the school and explain. It does sound as if they will be understanding, as they were so helpful last year. I'm sure they would agree to your request to vary the start and end times.
The school may also be aware if another pupil lives very close, who your daughter could perhaps accompany to school. When I was growing up it was normal for children to walk to and from school on their own from a very young age. My mum suffered from severe agoraphobia throughout my childhood and she really struggled to take me to and from nursery school. Once I started primary aged 5 she arranged for me to walk with a girl my age who lived nearby.
However the following year I had to also start going home every lunch time as well. The school said I could not stay for school dinners any more, as they could not get me to eat anything (due to my sensory issues). There was nobody I could walk with at lunchtimes and I had to walk on my own both ways every day from around 6 years old onwards.