On the beginning of my journey.

Hi Linz💪🏻 

I was referred by my doctor a few months ago, so another 2 years or so to wait for an official diagnosis. I am 61. By all accounts, doing the various tests around the internet, I currently identify as being autistic. It does seem to explain all the challenges I have had throughout my life. I have been masking well, though I am doing so less now according to my wife of 32 years who is reeling from the discovery! I can definitely relate to you.

Hi Linz,

Welcome and thanks for posting!

I totally understand where you're coming from - I'm just recently (in July) diagnosed at 52, after my 21 year old son received a diagnosis earlier in the year and on reading his diagnosis I realised it could have been me it was written about. I'm looking for the same answers as yourself to be honest, why was I bullied, overlooked at work, etc - I can also be immature, but do love to laugh when I can.

I don't have many answers yet to be honest, but there are many people around our age on here who certainly seem to - I hope you find the forum helpful and supportive and am always here to chat if it'd help

Yep I am 53 and awaiting diagnosis. Was bullied quite a bit, primary and junior were ok because I had grown up with those kids. Secondary school was hell, as was any time I was expected to play with kids I didn't know. I always liked to be with adults as a kid as they did not bully me. We grew up in an era where nobody had a clue about ASD. Unless you were a disruptive kid you were ignored by the system. I was a 'people pleaser' would genrally do anything to just fit in and be left alone. 

My wife oftern says I come acoss as rune. This is normally when I am frustrated by events and don't have the brain space to construct sentences and I just blurt out things very bluntly. I have always been silly and immauture, probabbaly why I never wanted kids, just not grown up enough and never will be.

I don't know how long you were told that the assment would take but look at 'NHS choices'. Your GP may push back like mine did but it can lead to a much quicker diagnosis through a private company but paid for by your GP. Good luck.

Thank you so much, hope my journey isn’t to long.

Hi and welcome! Congratulations on the diagnosis.

You're never too old to be diagnosed. There's lots of members here, older and younger. I'm 27 but was diagnosed when I was little.

Best of luck with your journey!

Hi Linz, 

Welcome welcome! Thanks for your post. 

I can't answer a lot of the questions you pose, but maybe seeing a diagnosis will help you to understand yourself a little better? 

I was diagnosed what I consider quite 'late' (35) but I think the diagnosis is totally valid, regardless of what age we might be. We're only as old as we feel at the end of the day! 

Hope to see you posting some more in the coming days and weeks :) 

Thank you so much, nearly everything you have said made sense, I have always felt a loner too, my daughter also doesn’t have many friends.

Linz💪🏻 said:

I want to know why I got bullied at school and why my peers don’t get me and why I come across as rude and silly sometimes

1- why did you get bullied? It is in the nature of the bullies to pick on the ones who stand out - it gives them something to ridicule so they feel better about themselves. It is a common trait unfortunately and most autists experience this as we almost always stand out as being a bit weird / different.

2 - Why did your peers not get you? That is because autism wasn't well know about when you were young, you didn't have a diagnosis and that meant you were just the "weird kid". Kids try to fit in and belong so when you stand out people don't really want to know you much. Is that their fault? I think not as it is just human nature in kids.

3 - why do you come across as rude and silly sometimes? Well it is because you lack the inherent understanding of social etequette that is enabled in the brains of around 95% of people. Our brains are wired differently and this social connection is one of the parts that often does not develop properly. It means we say the wrong things, act differently to others and often get the tone wrong in the way we speak.

I would recommend starting with the following book to build up an understanding of autism:

Understanding Autism For Dummies - Stephen Shore, Linda G. Rastelli, Temple Grandin (2006)
ISBN 0764525476

With it being a spectrum, people who have it exhibit some of the traits at varying intensities so there is a wide range of "types" in this group. Few of us are alike so it can be hard to find someone who is just like us.

We also almost always suffer accumulated trauma from being excluded, bullied, ridiculed or simply struggling with out overly sensitive sensory inputs to the point we suffer burnout or meltdowns.

All in all it makes for a very mixed bag.

There is a very good support community here and since support is non-existant for adults in most cases, this is possibly the best place to get support and advice.

Welcome to the club.