Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
It has come to my attention over the past few months that I need to improve my communications skills, as I fear this will hinder my future prospects career wise and in personal life. I have always had issues with communication since childhood, this was excused as being shy and anxiety.
I find it difficult to reach out and ask for help, to verbalise any decisions I make (or when trying to make them), speak in a group setting regardless if it's face-to-face or on a call (e.g. teams or skype), talk when I don't think what I say has any value or is unnecessary.
For example, the last one is has been a big problem as of late. It feels as I am physically unable to talk about stuff I deem trivial, or if I know my opinion doesn't really hold any value. So much, I have resorted to completely avoiding the situation, which is getting me in quite a bit of trouble.
I have had a little look online about how to develop communication skills as an autistic person, but I don't know where to start. I am unsure of therapy yet, although I may pursue this later down the line, I just haven't had much luck with therapists yet which is why I'm reluctant to start there. What books or websites would you recommend? Any advice? I really would appreciate it.
I noticed that some of the tips on how to deal with this would be that some people find it easier to continue the conversation written down rather than verbally, which I do find much easier (and prefer) but I am more interested in trying to help in the situation where written communication is not possible.
Apologies if the format is not pleasant, I haven't posted much on this forum... yet
Verbal communication for me has also been a struggle. I don't suffer with any speech impediment, and I am not shy. I just need time to respond in an appropriate manner. I also prefer written communication, but have a bias towards over elaboration including far more detail than necessary---which often gets me into trouble. My mind works at a different pace with verbal comprehension and I am slow to react---if at all ! This also gets me into trouble as my lack of reaction is not conducive towards a continued conversation. I have been accused of being antisocial.
In my early school years I believe my English teacher selected me to recite a poem on stage in front of my school auditorium. She must have recognized my lack of verbal communication back then. It scared the hell out of me. I was truly roped into it. I memorised the poem and delivered it to my own surprise. Having memorised it negated any effort on delivery, but I still struggle with verbal communication. I would have embraced help with overcoming this inadequacy as I have since always avoided any sort of presentations.