Possibly on the Autism spectrum/ ADHD?

I have long wondered if I could be/ am on the spectrum but have always brushed it off for various reasons. I will add that I think I likely am in between your average person but not so far that it has a massive impact on my life. I’m 37, and so it’s more of a wonder rather than a ‘need’ for diagnosis. It will just be a ‘ah, that makes sense’ acknowledgement  for me so the potential 3 year wait/ shun from the NHS, or the £2000 private confirmation isn’t worthwhile for me. So here I am to ask those in the know. 

I don’t particularly struggle socially, though I do prefer my own company at times. Often needing my own space in order to level out. The question on the Autism questionnaires is also too vague  when it asks about being social. It gives no context at all. Am I having a pint with my best mate?, at home?, at a pub?, am I at a concert for a band I do not like? The answers for a lot of the questions are variable. 

I don’t struggle to read people, so do not miss when people are unhappy/ bored etc. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I think I notice even the smallest change in tone, expression, body language and also vocabulary. On the topic of vocabulary, I have been told I am too literal and I do struggle with this. 

The areas I do ‘struggle’ with are as follows. 

I’m told I am TOO literal. Ironically the word ‘literally’ being one of the many I dislike/ correct the use of (they mean ‘literally’ figuratively). Why don’t people say what they mean? (Or mean what they say)

I struggle to comprehend how people can think/ speak/ behave at times. An example of this is being in a bad mood and taking it out on someone who did not cause the bad mood. I don’t see how it’s so hard not to do this? If I’m in a bad mood I will isolate myself so I cannot take it out on anyone else. I see this as proactive/ the adult thing to do. 

‘Unnecessary’ noise. I’m ok with loud noises/ (my own) music, but I cannot stand what I would term ‘unnecessary noice’ this would be revving a motorbike, bogs barking for no reason, neighbours music etc. My partner says that it’s ‘just me’ that doesn’t like it, and it’s tolerable to everyone else? 

I’m ‘too blunt’. I detest liars, and so think that honesty is the best policy. I wouldn’t say anything I know to be mean or nasty, but I again find it hard to comprehend why people feel the need to lie about things. 

I’m more logic over emotion. Crying cover spilt milk doesn’t stop it being spilt, and so you might as well just clan it up. That’s not to say the loss of a loved one wouldn’t upset me, but I am definitely more logical than I am emotional. 

I struggle with mess, and feel if my environment is messy, my ‘mind is messy’ and I cannot think straight. I do get a dopamine hit from tidying/ things being tidy and organised. I also love symmetry, things to be square (90 degrees) and level, and will 100% notice if they’re not (to my own dismay)

I struggle to sit still, and like to keep my mind occupied. If I have an outstanding task, I cannot settle which can lead to me pacing back and forth (as can my mind being messy until I formulate a plan of action)

I’m sure there are more indicators that I cannot think of now so I’m going to keep a ‘diary’ of these things when I think of them. 

I will finally add that when I was a teenager my parents said they were going to have me tested for ADHD, and fearing having a label I decided to mask certain behaviours, so I wouldn’t pace as much etc. but internally my mind was still racing. Not sure how relevant any of this is, but I thought I’d ask and see what others experiences are.