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Am I the only one, or does this sound like you sometimes?

Maria (formerly NAS88629)
over 1 year ago

Hi, everybody. I'll try to get to the point without blabbering on.

I have not been formally diagnosed, but it's obvious. I'm a woman in my 50s and although I'm not particularly interested in social interaction, I *am* tired of being "the only one who_____" all the time. Anyone relate?

  • I have no desire for social interaction but I'm not unfriendly or grumpy.
  • I don't care what I wear (no interest in fashion) so I don't look like most ladies my age who like to shop. I don't look wild/bad or anything and I do get dressed lol. But I stand out as not like the others.
  • You'll never see me in heels or ladies' dress shoes. Why suffer?
  • I don't care if it's cold; I'll wear ski pants, big warm gloves, and hats in the winter while ladies my age wear fashionable stuff. I'd rather be warm.
  • I cut my own hair. It looks fine (simple long hair "style") and have no desire to do the crap most women do with their hair.
  • I've never had a mani-pedi and never will.
  • Believe it or not, I'm still considered "cute" somehow (so I've been told) but I have no interest in dating even if people ask sometimes. I have in the past, but been there, done that. Love being single.
  • I prefer to live alone but with animals.
  • Animals (dogs/cats) are my "people." I feel closer to them than humans. I grieve their loss as much/more than humans.
  • I do work and believe it or not, I am an entertainer who teaches and performs. I can be charming and fun, but it's from decades of learning how to flip the switch and be like that.
  • I do not go to places most people go (restaurants, bars, church, events). I go outside alone in nature (hiking, kayaking, etc.). I haven't been to an establishment for years because I don't enjoy myself there, and that's ok (too loud, too much stuff going on).
  • Considering my job (very public) people think I'm stuck up because they don't see me out and about in general...but I'm not. I just don't enjoy it and it's stressful.
  • I don't own a TV and keep my house quiet with the exception of occasional peaceful music.

Like I said, I don't need to be *around* other people like me. It would just be nice to know that there are some people like me, somewhere. It's hard not seeing oneself reflected in any way in the larger community. Does any of this sound like any of you? I'm not looking for personal messages or anything. Just a "yeah, me too" would be enough. 

Thanks

Parents
  • over 1 year ago

    Yes I too relate to a lot of the things you have identified.

    Any need I do have for social interaction is met by being on here. Even that is too much at times.

    What I wear is for function, comfort and warmth.

    You never see me in heels or dresses either. With dyspraxia I have enough trouble balancing myself to walk in sensible flat footwear. I very much doubt I could walk in heels without ending up in A&E!

    I wear lots of warm clothes in winter. You'll be able to recognise me, as I'm the one wearing the silly hat that keeps my ears warm. Even in summer I'm usually covered up in layers, while everyone else is walking around in skimpy tops and shorts.

    I cut my own hair too. I haven't been anywhere near a hairdressers in more than 30 years. I can't stand the noise, the forced small talk, being touched, seeing myself in huge mirrors, etc.

    I've never had a mani-pedi and never will.

    I very much doubt I'm considered 'cute' by anyone and do not have to fend off any attention. I tried dating in my twenties but decided it wasn't for me and have been happily single ever since.

    I prefer to live alone and have done so pretty much all my adult life.

    I don't have any pets but I feel much more empathy towards animals than I do people. I cannot bear any animal suffering. I love birds and they would be my pets of choice if I were to have any.

    I had to learn to mask in order to get by in the workplace. However it destroyed me in a massive burnout and my career ended prematurely.

    I enjoy being alone in nature, hiking and birdwatching. I do not go out to bars or restaurants, as I always hated those kinds of environments when I tried them. 

    I imagine people probably think I'm stuck up too. I no longer particularly care what people think.

    I do not own a TV either and I like quiet when I'm at home. If I want to watch TV I go to my mums.

Reply
  • over 1 year ago

    Yes I too relate to a lot of the things you have identified.

    Any need I do have for social interaction is met by being on here. Even that is too much at times.

    What I wear is for function, comfort and warmth.

    You never see me in heels or dresses either. With dyspraxia I have enough trouble balancing myself to walk in sensible flat footwear. I very much doubt I could walk in heels without ending up in A&E!

    I wear lots of warm clothes in winter. You'll be able to recognise me, as I'm the one wearing the silly hat that keeps my ears warm. Even in summer I'm usually covered up in layers, while everyone else is walking around in skimpy tops and shorts.

    I cut my own hair too. I haven't been anywhere near a hairdressers in more than 30 years. I can't stand the noise, the forced small talk, being touched, seeing myself in huge mirrors, etc.

    I've never had a mani-pedi and never will.

    I very much doubt I'm considered 'cute' by anyone and do not have to fend off any attention. I tried dating in my twenties but decided it wasn't for me and have been happily single ever since.

    I prefer to live alone and have done so pretty much all my adult life.

    I don't have any pets but I feel much more empathy towards animals than I do people. I cannot bear any animal suffering. I love birds and they would be my pets of choice if I were to have any.

    I had to learn to mask in order to get by in the workplace. However it destroyed me in a massive burnout and my career ended prematurely.

    I enjoy being alone in nature, hiking and birdwatching. I do not go out to bars or restaurants, as I always hated those kinds of environments when I tried them. 

    I imagine people probably think I'm stuck up too. I no longer particularly care what people think.

    I do not own a TV either and I like quiet when I'm at home. If I want to watch TV I go to my mums.

Children
  • over 1 year ago in reply to Autonomistic
    Autonomistic said:
    You never see me in heels or dresses either. With dyspraxia I have enough trouble balancing myself to walk in sensible flat footwear. I very much doubt I could walk in heels without ending up in A&E!

    This made me laugh - because it is 100% me too! Give me flat, flat shoes and totally even ground and I'll probably still trip! 

  • over 1 year ago in reply to Autonomistic

    Looks like there are lots of people like us, just spread out and dare I say, misunderstood.

    This gets me wondering how many people feel this way in our own towns but don't say anything. I don't think it would be many, not at all. Maybe even just 3 or 4 at most. It would still be nice to see ourselves reflected more in the world in some way.

    Maybe with all this talk of "neurodivergence" things will change.

    Thanks for responding!