Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm feeling confused. Yesterday my ex emailed me after a girl I know gave him my new email, we previously had cut contact because he told me I kept stringing him along which wasn't true and that I kept messaging him and mucking him about - he was the one who kept messaging me.
And then again after weeks of no contact he emailed me again! He said how he was confused and couldn't process everything, and that his family don't trust me, but he does... and at the end he put he wanted to sort things out but feels that we shouldn't stay in touch even though I told him before this email there was no us and I wouldn't be in touch again.
I don't know if he's genuinely wanting to be with me and is confused or if he's just trying to mess with me and is actually a troll sort of person.
I did like him and had he not been horrible and pushy in the beginning I would have liked to be with him but now it looks like I got a lucky escape.
I'm just confused that he keeps emailing me and then either wants to give things another go or tells me he'd like to but then says he can't and hopes I understand.
So confusing and very frustrating!
Honestly, I wouldn't have any contact at all. Just block his email address.
Sounds like he's annoying no matter what his motives are. Sometimes people can be weird and be hot and cold. Block him and move on, in my opinion.
You were absolutely right to be cautious about giving out your phone number until you were ready. If he turned horrible after that then that is a huge red flag IMO.
I'm inclined to agree that you had a lucky escape.
I would email back, explain your email address was passed on without your permission and ask him to delete it.
Thanks for your input with this. I love the idea of being in a relationship but like you pointed out there's a lot of red flags here, and for me it was already ruined the first time around when he said all those things. He wanted my phone number but I said no because I wasn't ready and find talking on the phone difficult and he turned horrible after that as well.
I wish it was different but I feel unsafe and unable to trust him so I have cut contact and hoping I don't hear from him again. The girl I know has apologised for giving him my email, she said it was a mistake so I'm hoping it won't happen again.
My thoughts, for what they are worth...
Unless the girl had asked you if it was ok, I think it was wrong of her to give your ex your e-mail address. However, that is the least of your concerns right now.
From my perspective, I feel there are red flags. It could well be that he is intentionally stringing you along, or that he is just very confused and unable to decide what it is that he actually wants. Either way, this isn't fair to you.
Obviously, only you can decide how you wish to proceed, and if you wish to remain in contact with him. However, if it were me, I think I would be inclined to cut all contact and have nothing more to do with him.