What are the coping strategies that work for you?

I don't understand why being more numb than most other humans means that I have a bottish name? Misdirection.  Total AI.  Primordial tutelage. I am Number.  God bless.

Hahaha great analogy I used to watch that show.. yeh I get what your saying. Hmm I'm on to you now Number... You have a bottish name and wouldn't a bot say something like [except bots] as a diversion tactic??? 

Indeed so. It takes "Different Strokes" (as the song goes.)

Disambiguation - Making this song reference here probably appears nonsense and might even be a stretch for those who watched telly in the late 1970's and who have had dalliances with TMZ over the years.

Autistic folk are complex entities who can readily bamboozle with all sorts of boogaloo bombasticism.....but that's OK!

All are welcome here. [Except bots!]

It's not nonsense, but he does reply unseriously a lot. Which isn't a bad thing! We need all kinds of people here.  It just has to be kept in mind and new people might not get it. 

I remember me and someone else spending several posts not realising his comment on peeing with the lid down was a joke...

That is a fair point. And you are right not only do I go in with a no in mind I can go in with a whole tree of possibilities that ultimately just distract me from the initial passion to engage. 

I am keeping well thank you, and my comment above is also based on my experience on this forum.

Mr Leepard has been around for a long time and is valued here.

Moreover, most people here seem to cycle through personal periods of greater or lesser engagement and/or clarity.......and that's fine and seems to form part of our shared reality together.  We tend not to call each other out on this as it is not deemed helpful.

So - for me, I go into every yes/no situation with an exact 50/50 split. I don't know which way it will go, but I am prepared for both. 

For you, it sounds like you go in with a 'no' in mind, then just burrow down into the no answer and don't even leave space for the yes? So you don't even ask it?

For me this doesn't make sense. You have to give people both options because how will they ever choose yes? 

That's good advice.

It is grounding to think about this. I am going to work towards remembering this advice for each time I reach out. Thank you.

In the spirit of saying exactly what I'm thinking...

As I prepare to communicate with someone I tend to get stuck in a thought loop where without meaning to, I play out the "yes" response then play out the "no" response internally. The "no" response i thought up dirties up the "yes" giving me a difficult to process imbalance that puts me off ultimately trying. It is a common thing with low self esteem. but I believe it is more in line with being extra sensetive to the hormonal chemistry.This then dictates how I move forward like it's a matter of survival. have you experienced that? Btw No pressure to answer 

Speaking from experience on the forum, that's all. Hope you're keeping well! x

One man's nonsense is another man's wisdom.

If I don't understand a response - my first reaction is NOT to presume that it's total nonsense - but to wonder what it is that I'm missing.

Just saying.

INKCIRCUIT

From what I have established on this forum in the last few months is that he replies total nonsense. I wouldn't worry too much about his comments. 

Care to elaborate Def Leepard?

I get you. It really is about living life. There's a lot of fundamental things I neglected throughout my life because I was purely observing the world. I feel like I am waking up more and more as each year passes which is a pure gray area as to how I feel about it. Thanks for your kind words I appreciate them

Hi Inkcircuit, 

Something I find useful while reaching out to people is saying exactly what I am thinking. 

For instance today my friend and I were texting but I know she has a new baby so she kind of has her hands full, right? I was about to change the subject but first asked "I feel like I'm taking up too much of your time do you still have time to chat?" this made a very clear way for her to say "actually I'm busy" or "sure go on and talk to me". 

If you reach out to someone, you aren't demanding their attention, they can respond to you whenever they have free time! If you've reached out, the ball is in their court. Just send a little text, or make a little call and see what people are thinking. They might be looking forward to hearing from you! 

Thanks I really appreciate your response. It is calming 

My "episode" of social paralysis that really springs to mind (measured in many, many months) took the form of manifesting the feelings of things like.....I don't want to see my "friends", I'm toxic......I don't want to go out, what's the point......what the hell am I....what is it that I want to do.....what the hell have I got to say.....what the hell have I got to do......why do I feel so alone.  After a few weeks of hiding out under a rock, it can become a dangerous habit stretching into whole seasons of months.

I unlocked and eventually overcame myself with a variety of self help, unbelievable tolerance from those around me, and the grace of God.

Exercise was key.  Just being out amongst people was an important discipline to self-enforce.  You don't have to do something specific - you certainly don't need to meet or interact with people......just make sure you do get out there around other humans.  Remind yourself that it is quite interesting just to be "out."

Do be mindful.  Yes, it is trite and not easy to do and it takes different forms in different souls, but I do think it is important.  Praying, reflecting, pausing, meditating, jogging, yoga, etc.  Whatever you can find (ie contemplate actually doing) - keep trying things.

Finding a way to craft a life for yourself that resembles balance, comfort and sustainability.........takes frigging ages - literally a whole lifetime!  Just do little things and keep moving yourself and your thoughts forward.

I understand about avoidance btw.

Sorry that I can't deliver a simple few practical tips for you, but hopefully you can mine some use from within the above jumble.

Best wishes.

Don't have one.
It will only go one way.

Try not to seek to understand advice if your genuinely wish to take it on, instead seek to memorise it, then over time and with practice you will begin to absorb it, and finally one-day whilst you are not looking you will just understand.

Autists deal with learning by memorisation and exposure, yes it is the long way around, but you just have to trust in your feet and keep going. It’s not easy being neurodiverse in a world of neurotypicals, that can just have things declared to them, autists have a remarkable tendency to bounce back given time.

So my advice is to stick to your own lane, follow those who interest you, and keep on moving forward, it’s not easy but autist tend to become artists after practice. Don’t seek to understand what I’m stating, just follow if it seems right to you and one-day it’ll just make sense, if nothing else you’ll make something original just in trying to imitate it..