I don't know who to talk to

Hi, I am sorry you’re going through this.

Like Iain said, see if you can patch things up with your mum first. If not, then see if she will at least give you time and space to A, get your health in a better place and B, find yourself a place to live. What might benefit someone like you is assisted living. Have you heard of this? It’s where you’re on your own but there are people who can check up on you and talk to you if you want. My sister’s done this, she finds it helpful and supportive.

It's independent living but with assistance.

Talking to your GP regarding the above might be helpful for you. He/She can also start the ball rolling for an autism diagnosis, if that’s something you would be interested in, though the wait times generally are 3-5 years now...

This community is for diagnosed as well as people considering or pursuing diagnoses, with that in mind I would recommend you stay here for social contact and any support you need. I’ve not been here for a while but from what I can tell it’s still a supportive environment as ever.

Take care of yourself.

Kind regards, ???

I'd suggest that you deal with the digestive health problems as quickly and effectively as you can as a matter of priority.

DO your OWN research (even though they tell you not to) as well as using medical professionals.

Some quite serious digestive issues can be addressed with altering your diet, by looking into it you might find you are one of the lucky ones and in order to get that nice solo life with a garden (which CAN be had at surprisingly low cost, if yo look into it) you will need to be fit and healthy to enjoy it, so fixing your own health is a priority.

Secondly, because as you've correctly identified, your situation is not yet such that you can walk into that nice life, you need to apply a temporary fix to your current housing situation. 

You need to fix your mum such that she is willing to give you more time to get your act together and heal your gut. 

Try and talk to her with a preset agenda of finding out the reasons why she wants you to leave, get a list if you can, then after thinking it over see if you can fix any issues quickly, even if only temporarily, it'll help you buy some time..

I've really had to work the "housing problem" several times in my life, and I've found that there are a number of workable alternatives to government or council housing or low rent private. 

I had a friend who couldn't get on with his parents so he literally built a nice warm shed and lived effectively in a micro house in their garden only coming in to wash and do basic functions. If you are 45 then your mum is getting on a bit, so there must be some things you could do voluntarily that would be of genuine help to her, when your own problems don't occupy your full attention. I've found that helping out effectively and cheerfully, is as good as folding money with a lot of people.

My advice to look at alternative housing solutions should complement, and not replace ians advice.

In my own case during a period of trouble with my partner I lived intermittenlty on a narrow boat for a couple of years (mostly just on the weekends, admittedly) and were I to require government subsided housing I'd talk a mate into buying a used one and renting to me for as much as housing benefit will pay. If you do the maths right his income after paying for the mooring will be around 3 K P.A. which is quite good ROI when compared to buying a house and letting it... 

BUT in order to have time to research alternatives, I feel you have to fix and stabilise your existing situation, and your health as a priority, no matter what it takes..

I think it would be helpful for you to get an official diagnoses privately. I can suggest some people if it helps. You will have to wait years on the NHS otherwise....

Then you could apply for help and benefits through access to work and the disability allowance scheme.

Hi there, I am sorry I don't have any useful advice to offer I just wanted to let you know that I have read and I am really feeling for you. I don't have any experience with the care system so I can't comment on social services, etc. 

Wishing you ALL the good luck in finding what you need. x

Thank you Iain.

NAS71232 said:

I'm not sure if I can sustain myself on my own.

I would get a diagnosis in the first case then - once you have this then you will be classed as disabled and may be able to use this to get other support.

Your GP is the first place to ask for this, then they will put you on a very long waiting list and you can then ask for a "right to choose" so you can go private and speed the process up significantly/

If you can't sustain yourself then I do recommend working on mending the relationship with your mother and try to be sustained at home while you at least wait for the assessment and explore any other support options you have.

Do you have any proof of declining mental health? If so raise this with your GP as there may be more they can do.

In the long term your mother will not be around forever so at some point you will need to become independent so now if the time to start learning how best to look out for yourself so when that time comes you are able to survive.

Thanks for the replies.

I don't have an offical diagnosis. It was suggested that I have autism from my primary school teachers, but my mother didn't want to pursue it. There was an attempted murder from an adult  when I was 14 where I received over 20 double head stamps from a psycho.I should have died, but I survived. My mother says my mental health is declining slowly since that attrack. I'm 45 now. 

I'm not sure if I can sustain myself on my own.

NAS71232 said:

I''m living at my mother's house, but she wants me out.

This seems like your most pressing issue and one where you may need to work with your mother to make you "homeless" for long enough to get some other accommodation.

I would suggest trying  to find a way to make things better with your mother if you possibly can so you have a base to work from while you plan your independence.

Be aware that your chances of getting allocated a flat in a house full of drug users is much higher than a isolated cottage with a garden though - the alternative may be worse than your current situation.

Do you have an official diagnosis? Without this you will get nowhere with social services.

The next thing to consider is whether you can sustain yourself on your own. Do you have a job or reasonable source of income? These are probably going to be essential.

Don't let others ignorance put you off looking for help whatever you do. They don't know your struggles so if they are mean then just give them a Paddington Bear hard stare and ignore their judgement and continue with making them do their damn job.

NAS71232 said:

I can't socialise and I can't take loud noises.

The loud noises issue can be addressed with noise cancelling headphones for most of the time but the socialising thing is something that can be worked on - have you tried learning about what is going on and slowly exposing yourself to it more?

I've found a lot of people say they can't socialise when what they mean is they won't - it isn't easy but you can learn the skills and coping mechanisms to allow it to happen IF you want it to. Being a hermit is a valid option but not realistic in your situation I think.

If you can apply yourself to some of the challanges you face then I think you can make progress towards making more of an independent life in time, but for now you should focus on your living situaion in my opinion.

I have lethergy all of the time and pain in my colon from the disease. I can't think straight. I always feel like I've been poisoned, Due to my condition, I can't live with other people.

Can anyone offer some advice to where I can start getting some help please? Maybe there isn't any help, but if there is something, I'll love to know.