Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello community,Back for a third post, still trying to figure things out following the diagnosis about a month ago. If anyone would be willing to share their experience of burnout, especially long-term/chronic burnout and recovery, it would be really helpful. Interested also in whether anyone has experienced a kind of repetitive burnout, i.e. crossing into burnout territory, making an incomplete recovery, crossing into burnout again and then doing this as a long-term cycle. Is there any experience of burnout where executive function seems to switch on for external demands, such as work, but then the entire rest of the time everything seems to be broken and dysfunctional until the next demand rolls in? Could be I'm mixing burnout and meltdowns, although from what I've studied into meltdowns tend to be an acute event, whereas burnouts are more chronic in nature.Any insights would be useful.Thanks.
Yes, I have been in long term burnout. My last job was extremely toxic and I only coped by trying to shut myself down so much when I was at work that I could survive. I did my job but nothing else would function. I felt that I couldn't leave for financial reasons so I had to stay. After about a year I was suicidal, it doesn't sound right to me now but at the time it seemed like a sensible idea - the only idea in fact. I was saved from that by being in a car accident, which injured me sufficiently that I couldn't work for quite a while.
I have had other, less severe burnouts which led to me shutting down for weeks or months at a time. I didn't realize what they were then, and was told I was depressed, a diagnosis that never really seemed right.
Thanks for this, Pegg. It's helped give clarity on long-term burnout, which I think I may be experiencing as a kind of cycle. I was finding that in between externally imposed demands, like work, I just couldn't function. The concerning thing was that much of my work is around the school term timetable, so in the middle of the holidays. I began the holidays with a plan to rest for a week, but now almost four weeks through and feel like no progress has been made. Every day has been a cycle between small bursts of interest / energy and a feeling of complete inability to function coherently.
You're welcome NAS84405. I'm happy if my post has given you some clarity.
I'm sorry that you're not feeling better, the holidays seem long before they happen, it's the big rest of the school year, so how is it the time seems to go so quickly?
I've come to realize the need for space in life to switch off. If I don't have that, every day, I soon begin to struggle. Previously, there was just too much in my life and no real time to switch off from it all. Now I think of it like a balance - if I want to do high-demand activities like working, or spending time in busy environments, then I have to have time to shut everything out as well, otherwise... Boom! Meltdowns, shutdowns, and if I keep doing it, burnout.
It can be challenging finding time and space in your everyday life for yourself, I know. It might help if you can though.
I have concluded that relying on holidays, which are occasional things, to resolve exhaustion arising from the stressor of everyday life is not the best solution - in my own experience at least.