Work wants me to change where I sit

Hi I'm so sorry you're having the stress of this right now.

It's definitely not silly you having a problem with this. I'm sure if you can explain how it affects you and why it's so important things don't change for you to your manager then you can get something worked out.

You deserve to be happy, comfortable and supported in the workplace.

Maybe you could write a letter or email with your feelings and thoughts regarding this?

You're very good at writing and it might be easier for you to do that than have to talk about it in person.

I often wondered if I was being a bit "snowflakey" /fussy / demanding in my job as I had asked for some reasonable adjustments which were actually quite minor things. They didn't impact on anyone else and were easy to implement. It is about being able to do your job well and some people need things others do not. I understand theres probably a bit of "tailspin" in your head at the prospect of moving.

People are not mind readers and often judge others on their own experiences so while it isn't much of a big deal for a lot of people to move, it is for some and there's no right or wrong. It sounds like you need to make it clear to your manager why you need the same space. (This is easier said than done, as posted above sometimes we think we are being clear but we are not to them. If it was me I'd explain why the change is hard....a new environment is more for my brain to process / an extra load on top of doing my job....plus if other sensory aspects not mentioned which might distract you.... ). HR have said you should have an assigned desk so you need to find out why your manager wants you to move if they can't let you stay. Sometimes change is a bit easier if we know the reasoning and details. Your employers sound quite reasonable but unfortunately sometimes we have no say on some things in life, so the alternative is to accept there'll be a bit of an acclimatisation period and not be hard on yourself because it'll settle eventually.

I do wonder why life isn't made a bit easier for certain people in order that they can do their job to a good standard. Surely this is in the interests of every employer. A happier and less stressed workforce are more productive.

I do not think you are being silly at all. Autistic people can be very resistant to change and there often very good reasons for that, things which a non autistic probably would not even be aware of. It is not silly to be your authentic autistic self.

When I worked in offices I had to undergo numerous reorganisations involving forced moves. I found all of them extremely difficult and stressful. My managers didn't understand why I always seemed to make such a huge fuss about it and back then I didn't either.

There are so many variables to consider to meet the needs of someone with autism and other disabilities. For example proximity to other people, noise from nearby equipment such as photocopiers or printers, constant interruptions if located on a main thoroughfare or near a door, the line of sight, the amount of natural light, the flickering and buzzing from the overhead lighting, the temperature, etc.

I would suggest finding out as much information as you can about where the proposed new desk is located. That way you can make a reasoned argument why it may not be as suitable as your existing arrangement. It's important that your employers understand that an unsuitable location would have a negative impact upon your ability to work effectively. The autism equation springs to mind.

autism + environment = outcome

I would also find out exactly why your existing workspace can't be made into your permanent assigned one. I'm guessing this might have something to do with it being a picnic table, rather than a traditional desk. That may have health and safety implications. The employee responsibility for health and safety where I used to work was often around the office measure desk heights, checking chairs for support etc. I suspect he would have been horrified at the idea of anyone working at a picnic table. 

Personally I've never worked anywhere that had a picnic table in the office. I wonder if it is one of those new trendy casual workspace things. Alternatively it may be that it was only intended for use as a casual space for breaks and lunch etc. That could be why your employer doesn't like it being used as a workspace. If other colleagues also work at a picnic table that may strengthen your argument.

The other thing that occurs to me is that currently it isn't really fair on colleagues who have to move from that table when you arrive in the office. While they may appear to do so willingly I wonder if things have been said that you may not be aware of. Have you thought about a situation where you arrive and the colleague(s) at your table do not move. It would be understandable if your reaction was very negative.

In that respect a planned change is easier to cope with than an unplanned one. That is one huge advantage of having your own assigned desk, knowing that it will be free when you arrive.

If they suggest a new location which seems to meet all of your needs you could always agree to trial it on a temporary basis first and see how you adapt.

Hi Sybil, 

I know exactly how you feel. My company have had numerous seat changes and different office plans, which requires moving around a fair bit and I really, really don't like it. 

A while back I was moved to a spot where I had to have my back to the entrance and I really found that tough. I think my manager probably thought I was insane that I was so grumpy about it, but I really hated it. This is before I had a formal autism diagnosis. 

I think you're within your rights to say no, just try and make a logical explanation eg. my current set up has XYZ and the new one doesn't have that, etc. 

I agree with Number.

The reasonable adjustments you describe are being made, this is a great start. But you just need to confirm to management that along with having an appropriate desk assessed and setup, as an autistic person you also have a need for structure or familiarity in your workspace which you have already found so changing the comfort you have already established would be problematic and stressful.

They sound like they want to help which is a great start, all I would encourage is that you are patient with them, they will likely understand if you explain it.

An email is a god way for to both edit your response and maintain a record of reporting to your manger

Good luck

Good early morning Iain.

As you will note from my response below, you and i have diametric positions on this matter.

I feel compelled to query your reinforcement of the word "silly" to describe part of my lived autistic reality.

A suitable (or even particular) position, place and surroundings are fundamental prerequisites to enable me to work.  Is that silly?

Hi Sybil, I am Number.

SybilVane said:

don't want to move. The idea stresses me out. Currently, I set up on a picnic table where I can spread all my stuff out, there aren't loads of people around me, but if people do need to talk to me I can see them coming, there's a lot of open space if I do have a fit, and to be frank I've been there a year. I don't want to change now. The idea of it is stressing me out

I have very good news for you......you don't need our help communicating your feelings to your company/manager.....because you have already cracked it yourself - you just haven't realised it!?

You have explained yourself very clearly, reasonably and succinctly above in your text that I have quoted.

If your company are as nice as you describe (and presuming that there are no practical or other reasons why you can't reasonably stay where you are) then all you need to do is repeat, verbatim, what you have written to us.  Perhaps also restate that you are autistic too.

Like you, I often THINK I have explained things both directly and indirectly to people, but in actual fact, I have not!  I overthink and can stress about words and communications too much.  Also, I very often find that neurotypical folk seem unable to grasp things that I find bleeding obvious!  Frankly, they can be far more dumb than we are!!

May I suggest that you don't give up....simply say (or write down) your own words precisely how you have written them.....and see what reaction you get.  If they say "sorry, but you need to move"...then simply ask WHY.

If you encounter further problems with this, then please do report back and perhaps we (or me) can help you think about this in more detail.

I SERIOUSLY understand the importance of the  physical attributes of a location if I am to work effectively, efficiently and happily.  It is extremely important to me.

I hope you can enjoy your Sunday without worrying too much about this.  I wish you success.

Kind regards

Number.

SybilVane said:

It feels silly to be almost crying over a seat, but I don't understand how to communicate that I don't want to move.

You acknowledge it is silly, this is a good start.

SybilVane said:

I don't feel comfortable moving". 

If the company moved your department to a new floor or different building then you would have no choice but to change, so treat it like this - it is something where there is no option for the old seat so you have no choice.

I assume you have spoken to HR to impress upon your bosses that the old seat is REALLY important to you, but if they are adamant that it is no longer available then you have no choice. The change is inevitable.

I would recommend you focus on working on making the new seat as optimal as is possible given the new circumstances. Think of the old seat as dead - no going back so plant your flag and make the new one your castle.

You already know the fight is silly so don't waste an iota of energy on it - focus it all on the new normal. Build the familiar environment, your fortress of solitude, the bastion of Sybil and never look back.

Also remember to tell your management that you have settled into the new desk (when you have) and remind them that if they try to move you again you may have to break into their house at night and steal one of each of their pairs of socks! That will make them think twice.