History of showing Dyscalculia and history of quitting math

I did poorly in math growing up, almost failing math a majority of the time. I didn't know until I was an adult that I had dyscalculia, and the tendency to switch numbers around when I read them, and it was very frustrating not being able to see what I did wrong in order to correct it. When I was a kid, I didn't even know I was switching numbers around when I was reading them, I just knew I was doing something wrong, but my eyes and brain couldn't see it, and it was so frustrating knowing there's something wrong but being blind to it. 

I also had math phobia, and also trauma from someone who used to use money as a form of power over me, saying things like because I earned no money, that I'm not important, that I don't matter to anyone, that I'm useless and worthless, and that I'm beneath them. Well, I couldn't earn money yet because I was too young to be working at the time, but they were not the most encouraging person to be around. 

I had to face numbers on a daily basis, and that magnified the terror I had with numbers. However, I got fed up with it one day, and decided to rework my perceptions of numbers, just so I can actually have freedom in my life, and not have a panic attack every day. 

I realized that there are some logical problems I could figure out, but I had issues with basic arithmetic. I thought, well, if the math methods in my school system didn't work for me, I wonder if there's other methods of math from other countries that would work better, and I learned the abacus and vedic math. Then I just started learning math from the very beginning, and building up my knowledge from there. Nowadays I can do mental math, something that I never thought I would be able to do in my lifetime. 

I've still been learning math on and off over time. I hope to learn complex math one day too. I hope you keep trying to learn math, just so you have that knowledge and confidence within you. If you give your brain enough time with anything, it'll eventually learn it. 

I did poorly in math growing up, almost failing math a majority of the time. I didn't know until I was an adult that I had dyscalculia, and the tendency to switch numbers around when I read them, and it was very frustrating not being able to see what I did wrong in order to correct it. When I was a kid, I didn't even know I was switching numbers around when I was reading them, I just knew I was doing something wrong, but my eyes and brain couldn't see it, and it was so frustrating knowing there's something wrong but being blind to it. 

I also had math phobia, and also trauma from someone who used to use money as a form of power over me, saying things like because I earned no money, that I'm not important, that I don't matter to anyone, that I'm useless and worthless, and that I'm beneath them. Well, I couldn't earn money yet because I was too young to be working at the time, but they were not the most encouraging person to be around. 

I had to face numbers on a daily basis, and that magnified the terror I had with numbers. However, I got fed up with it one day, and decided to rework my perceptions of numbers, just so I can actually have freedom in my life, and not have a panic attack every day. 

I realized that there are some logical problems I could figure out, but I had issues with basic arithmetic. I thought, well, if the math methods in my school system didn't work for me, I wonder if there's other methods of math from other countries that would work better, and I learned the abacus and vedic math. Then I just started learning math from the very beginning, and building up my knowledge from there. Nowadays I can do mental math, something that I never thought I would be able to do in my lifetime. 

I've still been learning math on and off over time. I hope to learn complex math one day too. I hope you keep trying to learn math, just so you have that knowledge and confidence within you. If you give your brain enough time with anything, it'll eventually learn it.