Published on 12, July, 2020
I've always been curious:
Does anyone else have a hard time with authority?
I buckle to anyone whose labeled authorative to me.
I don't know if it's nature or nurture but rebelling or even speaking up against a boss, parent, old memeber of the family ect feels so SO wrong and uncomfortable. Really I'm such a people pleaser, confrontation in general feels shameful!
My mum raised me and my sister to be good, be quiet and be polite. Good standard stuff. But by the time I was a teen my mum's friend tried to inspire me to chase my dreams by trying reverse psychology ans tell me I'm too thick and there's no money in my desires feild. I didn't question it. I thought she was saying the normal thing adults say. My place in the world was shaky after this.
What about confrontation? Even bullying?
I found I passivly stood between the threat and my friends.
I've always been scared of what happens if I fight back!
Maggie said:Does anyone else have a hard time with authority?
Thiis is not necessarily and autistic thing, but if it is because you believe the authority is wrong about something then it can be.
When I was younger (and to a degree now) I had a strong dislike of anyone or anything teling me what to do. I believe it is more related to testosterone than autism though.
The confrontational thing also strikes a bell - I'm quite likely to stand my ground to a point as I know that if I lose my temper on someone it is likely to escalate to violence , and I fear my self control may not hold when that happens.
I suspect testosterone is another driver here as it is a real primal rage thing. Luckily it has not been let out of its cage for a very, very long time but I do everything I can to stop it getting to that point.
I understand anger is one of the emotions that autists are more easily able to get in touch with however so this may be an influencing factor as I have always had issues in connecting with my other emotions.