Published on 12, July, 2020
I want to meet people as I'm minimally speaking and actually have little to no real life friends. The place I'm in gives opportunities which I do take, but I'm often ignored because I can't speak that well. I'm not sure how to go about meeting people in that case. I do have moderate to severe sensory issues, I can handle a busy restaurant on a good day, but on a bad day I'd rather die than be there.
And I need something to distract me from various thoughts. I'm in my mid 20s if that's any help.
Are there any local groups nearby that you're interested in? Or maybe you could join a book club. There's only a small amount of people at those. I went to one seven years ago and I really enjoyed it and made a friend out of it.
It depends, are you the talkative type or are you minimally speaking? this seems to be something everyone here is missing. I can't talk to strangers until I know them well enough.
Jakey said:It depends, are you the talkative type or are you minimally speaking? this seems to be something everyone here is missing. I can't talk to strangers until I know them well enough.
Are you comfortable talking about your special interest areas?
If so then try to find a group that covers these and go to any meet-ups so you can talk about the subject of interest with like minded individuals and if that gets too much, just look at the stalls / displays or whatever is there.
Learning to have a conversation with strangers is difficult but you can do it. I would start by getting a friend agree to practice with you by role playing situations so you can picture these when you come to do it in real life.
To read up on the skills, I would start with:
Stress-Free Small Talk - How to Master the Art of Conversation and Take Control of Your Social Anxiety - Gallagher LMFT, Richard S (2020)
ISBN 9781641528955
If you can afford it then I would also recommend using a therapist to work on this in a more interactive way.
That might be something I need to try. But I'm not minimally verbal, that's different. I just can't process social situations the way others do, and I'm so easily distracted especially when multiple conversations are happening.
I completely understand where you're coming from I hardly say a word to anybody especially now. When I went to the book club I wrote in a pad to communicate, it was less stress for me that way. Vocal communication is tiring.